Year: 2013
You’ve Gotta Be Outside Your Mind To Be a Paid Sober Companion
The Fix – Making $600 a day to help a Hollywood star stay sober seemed like a great opportunity. I quickly became disillusioned, and found that profiting from AA service could cost me my own sobriety.
I read this article on the train and it fascinated me. First I thought it would be awesome to do this. But it isn’t. In summary: this average, former drug addict who had no money and lived in a hole in the wall was paid $18,000 for a month to be a sober companion to some celebrity. It ended up driving him batshit and the dude actually relapsed.
Hells no! If I go to L.A and live with a celeb, there is no way on this planet I won’t be partying my ass off and getting as messy as possible. No way. You can keep the money. Isn’t the only point of being in L.A the partying, messy celeb lifestyle?
Secondly, this celeb’s manager was kind of a dick. Dude was bitching about flying first class and getting flat tires in his hundred thousand dollar car. F that noise. You think I want to go and drive around some dude’s Bentley and fear for my life that I’d wreck it? For sure not. If I go to L.A, I want to be banging Playboy bunnies Vinny Chase style. Not wrestling a bottle out of a washed up celebrity’s hand.
Texiera Injured his Vagina Again
LoHud Yankees Blog -The Yankees have made a flurry of announcements in my short time at the Stadium today. First, it was announced that Mark Teixeira is heading back onto the disabled list with inflammation in his oft-injured right wrist. While the early indications are that the Yankees expect Tex to return shortly after his 15-day DL stint has concluded, the news for Kevin Youkilis is worse.
I was never a Texiera fan. Sorry. Maybe he was amazing before the Yankees, but he hasn’t proven it since he’s gotten here. Facts is facts. Dude is 100% useless in April. Then there’s a 100% chance that he ends up on the DL for at least 4-5 months with a swollen vajay.
Useless.
Mad Jeesco
You know how KFC over at Barstool basically made “Cuncel Da Saeson” viral? Well I have another story about the word Jeesco. There was this video of some Indian IT swimming pool party, and about halfway through, one of the crazies in the video tried to say “disco swimming pool” but it actually sounded like Jeesco Swimming pool. So my boy John heard this and we thought it was hysterical, so whenever something is half-assed, falling apart, crappy etc, we say “that’s mad jeesco, bro”
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ttgg1OaOuQA
Get the Fuck Off My Team: Phil Hughes Edition
August 5, 2013
Rants, Sports
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Portfolioso
This guy fucking sucks. No excuses. No idea why everyone has a hard on for this guy. He’s lousy. Get the fuck off my team, you’re useless. Cashman is an idiot. Should have dealt this guy for minor league talent. The season is already over. Might as well rebuild this shitty-assed, battered, no name excuse of a team we have this 2013 season.
PS – I already cuncelled da Hughes via twitter on April 15th
Yankees