Author: Portfolioso
These Morons Messed Up Our Office Carpet
I get off the elevator this morning to walk out onto my floor and almost trip over some jackass’ tools because they’re putting new flooring carpet tiles down. Ok whatever, I’m all for building improvement.
The floor has been ripped up for weeks and it looked like asshole. Except when I walked into the hallway later in the day, I almost flipped out.
Just look at this shit. Guys can’t even lay carpet tile right. This is an absolute outrage. You know how badly this annoys my OCD ass? It’s clear that the black border is supposed to go around the walls. What the fuck! There’s no wall there – it just goes straight across the floor. It should have gone around the corner. For fuck’s sake construction people, learn how to put down some carpet. Jeez. And why is it two colors? The eff man? Learn some design. Learn common sense.
Absolutely disgusting, disgraceful and awful. Rip that shit up and do it over assmunches.
India Sucks at Launching Rockets
MSNBC – NEW DELHIA rocket carrying an Indiancommunication satellite exploded just after liftoff Saturday in the second launch failure for India’s space agency this year.
What the f! Don’t all Indians have an IQ of 232, study all day and eat, sleep and breathe education? What’s this crap that every time they try to launch something into space, the rocket blows up? I thought a 14 year old Indian could put a rocket in space. This is the second one that blew up. And they’re supposed to put men in space by 2016? Come on India! You’re smarter than that.
If the morons in the United States were smart enough to fake a moon landing in 1969, I think it wouldn’t be too hard for India to toss a rocket into orbit. Should be as simple as breathing for those brainiacs.
Bring Me this Archbishop’s Pimp Staff
Timothy Dolan at Midnight Mass at St. Patrick’s, just tearing it up with the bling staff.
Imagine the bitches you could pick up with that thing? Such a waste for a bishop to have. I mean the thing probably sits in the closet all year. I could take that thing to the Grape and shit.
PS – I’m not going to hell for thinking this, right? God would side with me. He’d think that would be more useful to me than some old bishop dude.
If you Strangle Yourself to Death with a Neck Massager, You Deserve to Die
December 30, 2010
Useless Update
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Portfolioso
Jesus Christ. Here we go again with idiot America. Please explain to me how a neck massager can wrap a necklace tight enough around a person’s neck to cause death? It’s not like it has moving parts right? Doesn’t it just vibrate. If you manage that, you deserve to die. Simple as that. This moron didn’t have the common sense to run outside and get help? Shut it off? Rip the necklace off ?
Goodbye.
PS – Bottom line is, this story is complete horse shit. She really asphyxiated herself to death. Massager wasn’t anywhere near her neck. Guaranteed.
Stupidity