Category: Rants
Nice Haircut, Dickhead
Nice mushroom dicked haircut, asshole. You look like shit. Miley is an example of pure trash. She was hot when she was like 16 and then she went all trashy and hick.
iPhone 5 Speculators Are Jackasses
Fuck this bullshit Chinese parking lot attendant who claimed back in April that the iPhone 5 would be released in June. And Fuck the hipsters at Gizmodo for posting itand believing that some idiot in a booth actually knows inside info about Apple. It’s August. No iPhone 5. Shitheads.
If The Subway Turnstyle Swipe Reader Messes Up, I’m Jumping The Fuck Over It
- Swipe Card
- “Please Reswipe”
- I swipe again
- “Please Reswipe”
- I swipe again
- “Too Soon”
Today I jumped the fuck over a subway turnstyle in front of like 100 people at rush hour because the stupid ass thing refused to read my card and then locked me out. I looked like an asshole over there holding up 40 people because the shit wouldn’t read. What kind of a stupid ass turnstyle fails to read the card 3 times and then says “sorry, too soon- you can’t come in.” Fuck that noise. So no, I didn’t do anything wrong because I get unlimited rides anyway. It just screwed up. I was almost waiting for a cop to give me shit because I would have lost it on him/her
Besides that, it was 100 fuckin degrees, I was in a fighting mood because bitches stop on the fucking steps.Some fucker looked at me funny when I hopped it and I was like “Fuckin arrest me bitch.” It was 100% justified. Because I pay the stupid assed MTA like a bajillion dollars per month for unlimited use their shitty services and they can’t even have turnstyles that read my fucking card. You think I’m paying another $2.25 because their shit fucked up? Outside of your mind, I’m not giving them spit.The fucking things even say no tokens, that’s how old they are.
This isn’t even the first time this happened to me, that’s what gets me. One time I was at a station with a ceiling to floor barricade thingy and I had to go to the window and tell the stupid bitch to let me in because it fucked up.
Fuckin MTA.
If You Stop On The Subway Stairs to Check Your Phone, You’re a Cunt
Mother fuckers! Get out of my way! The narrow assed stairs are NO places to stand and dawdle on your phone, especially during mother fucking rush hour. Put that shit away and get out of my way. It’s two lanes – one up and one down. When you block one, no one can go anywhere. I had the urge to punt this bitch down the stairs and smash her phone through her skull, but I had to hold myself back.
So I have a new policy. Anytime some shithead does this, I will call them out 10 times out of 10. Like “Yep. Great place to stop, asshole” or “Not like anyone’s trying to get by, dickbreath.”These fuckers should get the death sentence for that shit.
The 4/5 Lexington Avenue Line Runs Like Dick
August 21, 2012
Rants
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Portfolioso
The 4 and the 5 trains are possibly the shittiest trains in the world. These fucking trains break down every 5 minutes. I am sick of getting email spammed of alerts because basically, yous hould just assume this line is broken down and delayed. What kind of piece of shit signals and mechanical failures exist that this happens like every day 10 times a day.
Look at this shit. Fucking MTA
MTA