Category: Rants


Angry Birds Uses a Bullshit Physics Engine


What kind of nonsense is this shit? Blocks float in mid-air now? Not sure what world they live in over at Box2D, but it my world, blocks unsupported by anything fall to the ground due do a phenomenon known as… Gravity.


I’m telling you. It’s not that I suck at this game. It uses unrealistic physics.

Rush Hour Rant: Close the Doors And Leave Already


You know what pisses me off to no end? The subway conductor jokeshops who are in charge of the doors. They never do it right. I HATE the following:

When the train is in the station for like 3 minutes just chilling with the doors open
Holy shit I hate this. People just keep coming in and you end up crushed to death. I read a thing somewhere that said the doors had to be opened for no less than 30 seconds. Open it

When the doors close but the train doesn’t leave
GO ALREADY!! Holy crap I have places to be. Good train conductor people pull out like 1 second after the doors close. There’s nothing more shitty than me missing my other train because the subways took like 9 hours pull out once the doors were closed.

SUCKS.


Son Of a Bitch Apple Fanboy Says Galaxy Nexus is a Piece of Shit


Gigaom – While I most often use an iPhone as my primary mobile device, I’m not an Android-hater by any means.

tl;dr […]

But in terms of the average smartphone user’s priorities right now, I still believe the iPhone 4S is the superior device. The iOS web browsing experience is still better (text rendering is better, the interface is more usable, and double-tap zooming is a necessity for one-hand browsing), text looks better all around, it has a much better camera for capturing mobile memories, and with iOS 5, notifications provide exactly the right kind of information exactly where you want it.

Jerks off to Apple Products

Fuck this guy .This is your typical fucking hipster piece of shit Apple fanboy.How did I ever guess that the Galaxy Nexus is perceived to be a complete shitpile in the eyes of an Apple fanboy. Is there anything Android can do to impress these people? Nope.

Guess what dumbshit – Android does have double tap zooming. I can argue this guy point by point, but it’s a waste of my time because 85% ofpeople who read my blog honestly don’t know anything about technology.

My point is that I haven’t even seen the Galaxy Necus in person and I guarantee you that the hardware is better than the iPhone 4s. I guarantee you Android 4.0 is as polished as iOS. I’m not saying the 4S is bad – just that once you’re an Apple fanboy, you’re too arrogant to admit that anything else is better,

I bet if Apple boxed up a pile of horse shit and called it the iPhone 5, fanboys would still say it was better than the Galaxy Nexus. Give me a break!


More Reasons the MTA Doesn’t Make Any Sense Whatsoever


Just got this subway alert. What a fucking joke. Someone is sick at 42nd st, so we’re going to skip stations in between 42nd and 14th st. Oh and while we’re at it, we’re not going to go past 86th St because we’re lazies. Does this make ANY sense whatsoever?


Stop Bashing the Galaxy Nexus


If you didn’t notice, I’ve been without a smartphone for about a month. Going from a smartphone to an ENV3 basically makes me want to kill myself. Such a first world problem… I had a Droid (which was a laggard, slow piece of shit) and decided not to replace it because this fucking phone was supposed to come out on October 10th but was in actuality delayed until (maybe) December 8th. So I was like “oh – it’s not worth spending money if I’m getting a new one anyway.” WRONG. I need this phone like I need oxygen. I would do very shameful things for this phone. For example, if I had the opportunity to have a threesome with Emma Watson and Selena Gomez, I’d probably pass that up for this phone.On the bright side, I save $30 on a data plan, which I’m pretty sure is equivalent to about 3 minutes at the bar…

Anyway… 96% of people are saying this is the most wonderful device inexistenceand Android 4.0 is amazing and all that shit. But these are the complaints I’m reading about:

It Only has a 5MP Camera, not 8, 16, 32 etc…
Who cares. It’s about the sensor, not the megapixels. It takes pics in low light and takes them without shutter lag. Enjoy.

It has Pentile Pixels or some shit and the screen sucks
Get your fucking eyes examined. Can you really tell the difference, you Apple fanboy piece of shit.

But it Doesn’t Have Adobe Flash
Fuck flash. No one wants this shit slowing down my phone, killing my battery and displaying ads all in my grillmix. Adobe Flash is a piece of shit, and it’s rightfully dying and being replaced with HTML5. Occupy Flash!

There’s a Volume Bug
Shut up. Pretty sure some asshole at Google/Samsung/Verizon will fix this before it’s out, because I’ll be 37 by that time.

Face Unlock Sucks and Never Works
No one cares.

It doesn’t have Siri
I don’t have conversations with fucking machines. I talk to people. So suck it.

No SD card?
Neither does an iPhone. No one cares. SD cards are slow.

 

In Conclusion
Shut the fuck up. All tech bloggers are assholes. Remember how Apple release the iPhone 4 that dropped calls just because you held your phone in your hand. Exactly. Shit happens. No go to bed.

 

PS – I’m going to run a naked lap around my block with this fucking phone when it comes out. Why? Because it won’t come out. And if if it ever does, chances are it won’t.

PS Again – I’m taking a shower. My feet smell.