Category: Rants


Lies! That’s Not How It Goes


Gizmodo -Obama Kills Osama Collectible Figurine Should Be Made Into a Giant Statue.A Limited Edition, this jewel could be yours for only $129.

Fuck the people who created this piece of shit. That’s not how it goes. Obama is NOT a badass, didn’t shoot Osama in the head and didn’t change a fucking thing since he took office. Navy Seals killed Osama (if they even did and it wasn’t just a big publicity stunt. Where’s the proof?) Also, to hell with thise asshole Jesus Diaz over at Gizmodo who actually praises this thing.

Here is a list of things I’d rather do with $130 than to buy this fucking false action figure

  • Drink it away by myself
  • Buy drinks for my coworkers
  • Buy drinks for my friends
  • Buy drinks for strangers for no reason
  • Give it to a homeless bum so he can buy weed
  • Flush it down the toilet
  • Wipe my ass with it
  • Eat it
  • Douse it in rubbing alcohol and light it on fire
  • Pay 5 midget Mexicans to tie me down and whip me for 45 minutes
  • You get the point…

Then we wonder why countries hate the shit out of the United States. This is the reason folks.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMvFsVdkzqY


Joe Torre Tells Mets They Can’t Honor NYPD & FDNY on 10th Anniversary of 9/11


NBC Sports-Major League Baseball denied the New York Mets’ request to wear baseball caps Sunday night honoring New York emergency service departments for their game against the Chicago Cubs on the 10th anniversary of the 2001 terrorist attacks.

Joe Torre, MLB’s executive vice president for baseball operations, told The Associated Press in a phone interview the decision was made to keep policy consistent throughout baseball.

“Certainly it’s not a lack of respect,” Torre said. “We just felt all the major leagues are honoring the same way with the American flag on the uniform and the cap. This is a unanimity thing.”

Just read this on Boston and NYC Barstool and they both ripped Torre a new asshole. Welp, I disagree. Joe Torre is a classy fucking guy. God Damn right he shouldn’t let the Mets honor the NYPD and FDNY. Who the hell wants to be honored by the biggest joke organization that has ever existed? That’s a damn insult. And who the hell are the Mets to get special treatment wearing FDNY and NYPD hats when no one else can? That’s just not right.

Keep it classy, Joe!


Pussy CT Resident Afraid of Taking Metro North on 9/11


The Daily Fairfield -“First of all, I don’t have to take the train that day, it’s a Sunday and I’ll be home watching football,” said Lee Gonzales of Norwalk. “But I wouldn’t take the train that day no matter what. There’s no security, and I don’t want to be on a train on Sept. 11 – especially on a big anniversary like this year.”

See this is exactly what the fuck not to do. How many other terrorist attacks happened on 9/11 since 2001? Fucking zero. If you are scared, the terrorists won. Assholes. Absolutely nothing bad is going to happen on SUNDAY September 11, 2011. They’re going to do it when you least expect it. Either that or you could get hit by a tree for no reason. You die when you die.

WTF Is Fenway Stadium?


Fenway Stadium? Where the hell is that?

Who proofreads this shit?My9 is the shittiest network going. I mean, do they even have any shows that white people watch? Every once in a while when the Yankees are on there instead of YES, you get this Brooklyn accented joker Russ Salzberg like “O. fuggheduhbouddit. Them there Yankees won”

PS – How awesome is my television? Fucking 90s piece of shit. Who the hell has a CRT in 2011?

These are the Jokers Protecting This Country


httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6b54bZepoA

Really smart, bros. Way to drive your tank completely underwater. Unless your shit is an amphibious vehicle you might want to like… not do that. See, this is why this country is going to shit. These are the jokers we have protecting us during national emergencies. Just doing stupid crap, going and getting themselves in danger… Wasting government money and destroying equipment.

GET A BOAT, YA SHITS.