Portfolioso.com Blog

Ajit Pai Just Ruined the Internet and I Hope he Dies in a Bus Fire

Photo Illustration: Portfolioso Himself

Welp, that’s all folks. This corporate shill just ruined the internet as you know it. Ajit Pai, a goofy looking, ex-Verizon lawyer who has been paid millions of dollars by multiple ISPs and injected into the FCC by imbecile Donald Trump has just ruined the internet.

Net Neutrality, the concept that all is nothing new. I blogged about it in 2006. The same lobbyist ISPs tried to get this to pass back in 2015 and like today, people were outraged by it. Only difference is,the leadership at the time actually gave a shit about the people they represent and listened to them.

This fucking dolt Ajit Pai is worse than a Disney villain. He has absolutely no regard for what anyone thinks, except the ISP and lobbyist dicks he’s choking on. He makes up complete and utter bullshit that is not backed by any fact whatsoever, and has no clue how the internet works.

Top engineers, Tim Berners-Lee (the inventor of the goddamn world wide web), and other intellectuals with their PhDs submitted a 43 page document explaining why repealing Net Neutrality would be bad, and benefits of why things should stay as is. I don’t know about you, but I’d listen to the smartest engineers/inventors who know how the internet works, not some jagoff who receives lobbyist money from large corporations.

The “Restoring Internet Freedom” measure, a complete misnomer, has received tons of public comments on fcc.gov. John Oliver created gofccyourself.com, linking to the public record, then the site mysteriously “broke” for a little bit. Along with thousands of outraged citizens,there are alsothousands of fake comments, which have been proven by data analysis(many from Russia). In fact, the New York Attorney Generalopened an official investigationon these fake comments. Pai basically told him to go fuck himself and he would hold the vote anyway.

According to FCC Commissioner Rosenworcel, “There are as many 1 million stolen identities in our record, and that’s identity theft, where people’s names and addresses have been taken and comments have been submitted on their behalf, without their knowledge. We also have roughly half a million comments filed from Russian email addresses, and then we’ve got 50,000 consumer complaints that were filed at this agency that are somehow not present in the FCC record. And on top of that, we’ve had an allegation of a distributed denial-of-service attack, which is under investigation by the Government Accountability Office. So you add all of this up, and you have a record here that is a mess and its integrity is in question.” [source]

Let’s talk a little bit about Internet Service Providers (ISPs)… They stink. The US has pretty bad internet compared with other civilized countries. ISPs paid 101 million to members of Congress! $101 million! Don’t pay idiot politicians $101 million. Actually invest that into making your shitty service better so you don’t need to lobby for idiotic rules. PS – Comcast, AT&T, Verizon and the National Cable & Telecommunications Association (NCTA) spent $572 million on attempts to influence the FCC and other government agencies since 2008 [source]. Do you really think they’d spend that kind of money if they didn’t want to implement all kinds of shady shit to squeeze more money out of the public? Comcast was originally like, nah, we won’t have paid prioritization – but then deleted their promise the same day these rules were proposed. Blasphemy!

And here’s another problem – because of the poor state of political affairs in this country at the moment, this is sadly turning into a political matter. Ignorant Republicans (with the exception of these peeps) in this divided, dumb shit, second world country, who have NO CLUE how the internet works, are in a goddamn fantasy world. They don’t understand technology. They just see all the conservative news outlets calling Net Neutrality “Obama-era regulations” and because Obama is the devil child, they immediately want anything to do with him reversed.

They’ll incorrectly argue: “Oh, but the internet was fine before 2015 when Obama’s crew implemented these heavy handed regulations…” Go eat a dick. No it wasn’t. Here’s some shady shit some ISPs pulled and WILL pull again if Net Neutrality is repealed:

• In 2005, a small ISP in North Carolina blocked Voice over Internet Protocol (VoIP), preventing its customers from using competing third party services [source]
• In 2007, Comcast throttled BitTorrent peer-to-peer (P2P) traffic. This interfered with other protocols [source]
• In August of 2012, AT&T blocked Facetime on its network and later that year, added a more expensive data plans that allowed its use Facetime. They admitted it was a scheme to get people to upgrade to more expensive plans [source]
• In 2012, Comcast announced that it would favor its own video-on-demand streaming services over third-party competitor services, by charging customers for the data they used to stream competitor services [source]

Another shit argument by pro Net Neutrality idiots: “Oh, but these heavy handed regulations stifle competition. / Who cares if the ISPs charge me more if I don’t use something. / What’s wrong with how the internet was before 2015?” Are you a fucking idiot? What competition? I don’t know about you, but I don’t really have much of a choice when it comes to my internet provider. And you really think your bill will go down if you don’t pay for services/sites you don’t use? Get real! Do you want the internet to turn into how cable TV is? With upsells, packages and cable companies dropping networks because their fees are too high? Get the fuck out of my face. And this measure isn’t just undoing the 2015 legislation. It’s adding all kinds of sneaky bullshit that will help large corporations and hurt consumers.

I don’t understand how anyone with a good conscience can be this stubborn and ignore the facts. If I were in office and thousands of people hated me and told me I was doing something wrong, they are probably right. I don’t care how much money ISPs are putting in my pockets, I have morals. Actually, I’d take their money and still do what was best for the public – fuck ’em.

So if you support the repeal of Net Neutrality after reading all of this, you’re either (1) a moron who doesn’t understand how the internet works (2) controlled/paid for by evil corporations or (3) blindly siding with Republicans just because you hate Democrats and they support Net Neutrality.

Ajit Pai – I hope you die in a bus fire.

PS – Drawing a dick on Ajit Pai’s face in MS Paint was extremely satisfying and therapeutic.