Category: Rants
If You Eat This Disgusting, Ash Coconut Ice Cream BS, You’re an Idiot Millennial Hipster
Daily News-The latest food craze of the summer is Black Coconut Ash ice cream from Morgenstern’s Finest Ice Cream on the Lower East Side.The dark dessert is made with coconut milk and cream and gets its color from coconut ash, a form of activated charcoal that you’ve probably seen in face scrubs or in lemonade touted on Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle site Goop. Now, the trendy black, odor-less ingredient is found in cocktails, green juices and pizza.
If you decide to spend $4.50 on a scoop you’ll need a fatter wallet for the $13 pint load up on toppings like Oreo bits. The noir novelty comes with a major caveat: It turns your hands, mouth, teeth, tongue and basically anything you touch, black. My white pants and I learned that the hard way.
Typical millennial hipsters doing hipster things. This is the polar opposite of what I want when I go for some ice cream. Hey guys, let’s eat some gross tasting charcoal coconut slop just because it looks cool. Absolutely not. “But it’s so unique and abnormal so let me go dish out $500 because I’m one of the cool kids.”
We’re screwed. Absolutely screwed. We’ve got a couple clown shops running for president and now all the LES hipsters running around thinking it’s cool to eat this sloppy, disgusting, overpriced mud. Oh yeah, and all the tabloids and local news just aired it tonight, so free advertising
People: Ya Gotta Stop Jumping in Front of Trains
NY Daily News – A person was fatally struck by a Metro-North train in the Bronx Monday afternoon, sources said.The person was hit at about 3:30 p.m. by a northbound train passing through the Botanical Garden station at Bedford Park and Kazimiroff Blvds., MTA spokeswoman Meredith Daniels said.
Sources said the death was likely a suicide. The person’s name and gender has not yet been released.MTA officials are shutting down train service on two of the four tracks at that station, which will cause delays on Metro-North’s Harlem and New Haven lines, Daniels said.
F this noise…Then they wonder whyI hit the bottle… Photo Cred: Mario Diaz/PIX11 News
You know my series of blogs “if you do x, you deserve to die?” Welp. This is the one exception. Because in this case, dying is WAY too quick, painless and easy. How selfish do you have to be to knowingly jump in front of a train and cost thousands of people hours of delays? Of all the places to kill yourself, you have to do it 1) right before rush hour and 2) on the main artery in/out of Grand Central that affects all three train lines. If you’re going tojump in front of a train in the first place, at least use your head about it, like killing yourself some other way. You’re going to make a couple ofthose poor commuters in Grand Central kill themselves next and then this will be a daily occurrence.
SoI have a solution:
Miserable UX on Weather.com and Its Android App
In this blog, I will becalling out weather.com for a shitty user experience. Who the hell do you have there as product designers? Let me tell you who. All assholes. Hire me instead because you have to be an absolute idiot to make the decisions they made… Unfortunately, I tried many other weather apps and they pretty much all suck. Weather.com is one of the better ones.So weather.com, let me explain why your shit’s weak. Wizzzeak:
Ain’t got time to fill out this long assed survey.
Saved Locations are different on the Android App and on the Web version. Wut?
What in the actual hell is the point of creating a user account to save locations when they are not the same on the web version and in the Android App?I created an account on the Android App via my Google account and saved some locations. Then I went to weather.com and logged in with my Google account. None of the saved locations were there. Plus, the web version is limited to 10 locations. Makes less than 0 sense.
What the hell is this Minus bullshit under manage locations in the checkbox area and why can’t I delete this location?
I literally cannot remove this from my saved locations and have no idea why. I don’t give three shits about LaGuardia Airport. I don’t understand why this got here and why I cannot delete it:
Get the goddamn temperature out of my status bar
I don’t want to see a temperature in my status bar based on your “follow me” feature. No matter what I do, I cannot turn it off, so I need to block notifications for this app on the OS level to get this to disappear. Fix your settings and let me turn this off.
mPoints rewards are a cluttered waste of life
They include this third party mPoints bullshit to “reward you” for using their app. 1) You need to sign up for an account with mPoints and then you’re supposed to get free shit for using the app loyally?Nope. I’ll use your app more if you remove this horse shit. I can almost guarantee that weather.com gets paid by these morons to include their shit in theapp and it most likely tracks all your user data. How else is this mpoints bullshit company going to make money?
Get a load of thislong ass survey nonsense (left image)
Another reason why they suck at life is that they hire these independent companies to give users these long assed surveys. May I ask who has time to fill out all this bullshit? Not me. I started to fill it out because I wanted to tell them everything I’m complaining about here, but then I saw how long it was and decided it wasn’t worth my time and I could at least write a sarcastic blog about them instead. Again, don’t you assholes understand that no one has time to fill out this fucking monstrosity of a survey? Less is more.
Too Many Ads
Greedy motherfuckers
In Conclusion…
Hire me as a consultant. I’ll fix your shit in no time.
PS: Myblog’s theme has shitty looking styling. This looked so much better in the WordPress editor than it does on my actual blogand I’m too lazy to worry about it so whatever.
The MTA Can Blow Me With Their Toll Gates
I was driving over the Whitestone Bridge tonight and some asshole in front of us didn’t have enough money on his EZPass. The fucking toll gate was down and it caused a backup for 5 minutes. We had to wait for some asshole MTA traffic cop to come over, get his license plate and manually override the gate.
You fucking idiots. It’s 2015. Why is this necessary. Remove the God damn gates and put cameras up. Can’t you see how much money this will save? Just let them through, take a picture of their plates and send them a bill in the mail. If they don’t pay, fine them and don’t let them renew the registration on the car until it’s paid. Idiots. You’ll make more money that way.
- The gates use unnecessary electric to move them up and down, which is a waste of money and pollutes the environment.
- They are mechanical and can break, which means you need to pay some asshole overtime to fix them.
- You won’t need to pay as many MTA traffic cops to sit there and get union benefits and make more pension money after they’re retired than entry level professionals do.
- You won’t cause traffic backups
Everyone wins. Remove the fucking gates and put cameras in. No wonder the tolls go up every 20 minutes. Christ, the MTA is backwards. Port Authority bridges don’t have toll gates. What is this 1950?
If You Get a Rare Bacterial Infection Because You Decided to Get Surgery in the DR, You’re an Asshole
July 14, 2016
Rants, Science
Comments Off on If You Get a Rare Bacterial Infection Because You Decided to Get Surgery in the DR, You’re an Asshole
Portfolioso
I’m sorry, but if you go to the Dominican Republic for any reason other than a vacation, pounding MamaJuanas, or getting the shits from bad food/water, you’re an asshole. What idiot in their right mind would willfully go to some third world country and risk their healthto save a couple bucks on tummy tuck surgery. I’m not leaving top healthcare to save a couple bucks and get infected with the cousin bacteria of leprosy. That’s like some bible era plague. No thank you.