Category: Useless Update
I Think I Just OD’d on The Office Coffee
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juzqd41fS5Q&start=03
The coffee in this office is out of control. I’m borderline tripping on a half of a cup right now:
BRB – checking into rehab with Dr. Drew.
Stop Defending This Fucking Heatwave
Want to know what the best part of this heatwave is? I got a the Epic Swarm Foursquare badge out of it. Otherwise, nothing.
Fuck the summer. You have to waste like millions of killowathours running ACs just to stay comfortable in small spaces, then when you walk out, it’s insta-hot. The trains and subways smell like sweat and the platforms are literally 125 degrees.
Here’s another fine excerpt of my laws of flawless logic. There is one reason why it’s better to be cold. You can always add more layers and get warm. Nuff said. If it’s hot and you’re ass naked, you’re still hot (but not as hot as me) and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Why are there like 40 people defending this shit?
Even the Rocknation dude called me out.
So I go on Facebook and people are like:
HEY all YOU hating on the heat: please take your negativity to antarctica because you’ll be complaining about the snow again in a good 5 months. embrace the sunshine.
1) I won’t be complaining about snow. 2) I can embrace the sunshine when its 70, not 104.
To those complaining about the heat….newsflash, it’s July. And it was snowing in March. Stop.
Suck it. It’s not 100 every day in July, and I like snow.
Winter: Boo hoo it’s so cold, my car’s stuck in the snow! Summer: Oh no, it’s so hot! I <3 summer and I’m not looking forward to winter at all.
Get a car that doesn’t get stuck in snow. Bam!
People make me laugh.
Barack Obama’s Women’s World Cup Tweet is Some Bullshit
Obama’s Tweet About Women’s Soccer Losing the World Cup-Couldn’t be prouder of the women of#USWNTafter a hard-fought game. Congratulations to Japan, Women’s World Cup Champions.
I’ve been away all weekend with less than 56k 3G internet, so forgive me for being behind the times posting this. God damn it Barack! Proud? Proud of what? Your country’s team just lost the World Cup to Japan. That’s not proud. That’s upsetting (pending you care about women’s sports teams, which I don’t). Japan is better at the USA at everything except nuclear disasters (too soon?). Why the hell are you proud?
George Steinbrenner would have never made such aludicrous statement. To him, anything other than winning is unacceptable. That’s how you build a team that wins 28 championships. Can’t win 28 championships saying “well, you fought hard.” Nope. Fighting hard and losing is failing. Fight harder and maybe you would have won.I mean shit… I was all lined up to win my card game and then screwed it up. I fought hard all game. No reason to be proud of me. Can’t say I tried. If I tried, I wouldn’t have been careless and lost like an asshole.
PS – I have another Women’s soccer related post coming up in a bit after this one. I wrote all of these in the middle of the night when the internets went from 56k to 200k. They’re all scheduled. Shit’s not even real. They’re pre-written. What a scam.
3G In Upstate NY Is Utterly Useless
I’m up in the boonies for the weekend and the 3G is borderline useless. I can’t load a damn thing because the cell tower is on top of the friggin othermountain. Welp… What can ya do?
You know what enrages me even more ? Verizon has some nerve saying I have a 3G connection with full bars. How dare they. There should be an asterisk that means “Yes, you’re technically on 3G, but because your in middle of hick-ass-ville, you will probably get like 28.8 baud. (For you non old times out there, baud was the old way of measuring internet speed. 28.8 baud is 28.8kbps. which is 0.02 MBPS. For a comparison, Cable goes between 3-15MBPS down, FiOS goes from 15-30MBPS down.
F-? Grades that low even exist? I would have given it a G- if G’s didn’t have a positive yet gangster connotation. Damn right my connection is a fuckin F- I couldn’t load a God damn webpage all weekend.
I can’t even compare it to the dial up days, because back then, at least pages were all text. Now, I try to load friggin Google and I’m pulling down a meg of javascript. Duh, my pages don’t load.
Bring Me This “I’d +1 That” Shirt
July 29, 2011
Useless Update
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Portfolioso
I don’t want an “I’d +1 that” t-shirt. I NEED one. OMG. Google just killing it with the swagger they give their developers. How amazing is that phrase? The usage is brilliant. For example: Alex Morgan. I’d +1 that.