Category: Useless Update


tldb;


You’re all familiar with TLDR (too long, didn’t read). I introduce to you tldb; too lazy, didn’t blog. Two posts in June? Yes. It was too hot outside for me to spend time or effort complaining about things. I should probably post more frequent, shorter updates. But anyway.. What’s new?

July updates:

  • It’s too fucking hot outside
  • The subway can suck it
  • I work too hard
  • WOOF
  • EnJOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

On This Day In History


Today in history (1932): LouGehrigbecomes the first major league baseball player to hit four consecutive home runs in a single game, leading the New York Yankees to a 20-13 win over the Philadelphia (gross!) Athletics

Also, happy birthday to me! Great day to be a Yankee fan (even though they suck balls this season)

Idiotic, Hipster Apple Fanboy Scientists Think Siri Can Cure Cancer


Gizmodo -British Telecom is putting [Siri] through a kind of biomedical training. Last month, at a conference in Boston, BT’s Bas Burger used Siri to launch a mock experiment that analyzed data on the new cloud service the company build specifically for life sciences R&D.Talking into his iPhone, Burger asked Siri to crunch some numbers on BT’s cloud using a common research tool called Pipeline Pilot, and after authenticating Burger, Siri complied. Moments later, Burger asked her for a status update, and she told him the experiment was complete, offering the results on his phone

I’m about to stop following Gizmodo on my news reader on the grounds that they keep blogging about stupid bullshit, like why youshouldn’tput water in your cereal. But at the same time, it allows for some real talk discussion on how my opinions are always correct, my logic is flawless, and most people are fucking morons.

I skimmed this article. It’s too long and full of shit for me to thoroughly give a fuck about it. Hey Bas Burger. Instead of wasting time time making an interface for Siri to do your cloud calculations, why don’t you just do your cloud calculations without Siri. It’s less effort.

Fucking hipsters.

Grammar Pet Peeve: People Who Use Most + [adjective]+est


  • “This professor is most smartest person I know”
  • “That was the most hottest girl I’ve ever seen in my life”
  • “Your mom is the most sluttiest person ever”

This makes me cringe to no end. This is absolutely insane. Pick one or the other. If you use most, we already know that it’s the utmost, extreme state and cannot be anymore. If you use a word suffixed with -est, it means the same thing. If you combine them both, it’s idiotic. It’s the most ignorantthing I’ve ever heard.

If you speak like this and you are over 7 years old, you’re a moron and “don’t speak no English good.”

How Unlucky Do You Have to Be To Get Struck In the Balls By Lightning?


Gizmodo-A lightning struck a 53-year-old man’s scrotum and then exited his body through one of his feet in Madrid, Spain. The good news: he survived. The bad news: his testicles were burned. A lucky man. Or maybe not.

Can you please explain to me how the hell you go about getting your sac struck bylightning? Does this dude have a huge, metallic dick? This has to be one of the shittiest things to ever happen to a dude.

I mean… Is the guy ruined for life? Can he have kids anymore? As shitty as this sounds, it’s pretty sweet. You know how many mad honeys this bro can score by telling this story? Limitless. And if your ballsdon’twork right anymore, youdon’teven have to worry about knocking anyone up.