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Lifehacker– How to Send Back Food at a Restaurant Without Pissing Off Your Waiter:Explain the problem and ask for a solution. If the mistake was your fault (not reading the menu or misreading the menu), apologize and ask for a new dish. If it’s the waiter’s or kitchen’s fault, be nice. It helps to say something like, “I know this isn’t your fault, but this is undercooked.”

FUCK. THAT. NOISE. Want to know the portfolioso.com way of sending back food? Very simple. You don’t do it. Ever. Anyone see the movie Waiting? I don’t remember it because I saw it in college and I’m pretty sure I was drunk the whole time, but I’m pretty sure some dude shaved his pubes in someone’s food. Exactly. Don’t send back your fucking food – I don’t care how nice you are. I don’t care if you’re the Pope. Don’t like it? Suck it up, don’t eat it, tell everyone the restaurant sucks and don’t go back. Under no circumstances should you send back food if you don’t want it fucked with. This is like life lesson number 1.

I mean, unless you pull a rat or a lump of shit out of your food, I wouldn’t send it back. Even if that did happen, I’d be like, fuck you guys, there’s a rat tail or lump of shit in my food, you can keep it. And walk out.

You know how many times I order a medium burger and it’s medium-well? Like 7 times out of 10. If I sent it back every time, I’d have problems. Just deal with it and get over yourself, ya spoiled pricks.

Is Big Ang’s Daughter A Smokeshow?

February 23, 2012

Movies/Television

1 Comment

Portfolioso

Is it just me, or is Big Ang’s daughter a certified smoke? I’m torn between her and Al Pacino’s Daughter. If you go for Al Pacino’s daughter, youhavea gangster pops and a DUI party girl which sounds like awesome fun. On the other hand, if you go for Big Ang’s daughter, you get to chill with Big Ang at the Drunken Monkey. This is a difficult decision…