If You Get a Rare Bacterial Infection Because You Decided to Get Surgery in the DR, You’re an Asshole

July 14th, 2016 6:12pm Comments off

Scientific American – Nearly two dozen women who traveled from the U.S. to the Dominican Republic in search of less-expensive tummy tucks and other cosmetic procedures came home with more than they bargained for—severe surgical infections that required months of antibiotic treatment or additional surgeries, or both. The pathogen that caused their problemsMycobacterium abscessusis distantly related to both tuberculosis and leprosy and has become more and more of a problem in a growing number of medical settings around the world, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

I’m sorry, but if you go to the Dominican Republic for any reason other than a vacation, pounding Mama Juanas, or getting the shits from bad food/water, you’re an asshole. What idiot in their right mind would willfully go to some third world country and risk their health to save a couple bucks on tummy tuck surgery. I’m not leaving top healthcare to save a couple bucks and get infected with the cousin bacteria of leprosy. That’s like some bible era plague. No thank you.

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If You Eat This Disgusting, Ash Coconut Ice Cream BS, You’re an Idiot Millennial Hipster

July 6th, 2016 11:16pm Comments off

Daily News – The latest food craze of the summer is Black Coconut Ash ice cream from Morgenstern’s Finest Ice Cream on the Lower East Side. The dark dessert is made with coconut milk and cream and gets its color from coconut ash, a form of activated charcoal that you’ve probably seen in face scrubs or in lemonade touted on Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle site “Goop.” Now, the trendy black, odor-less ingredient is found in cocktails, green juices and pizza.

If you decide to spend $4.50 on a scoop — you’ll need a fatter wallet for the $13 pint — load up on toppings like Oreo bits. The noir novelty comes with a major caveat: It turns your hands, mouth, teeth, tongue and basically anything you touch, black. My white pants and I learned that the hard way.

Typical millennial hipsters doing hipster things. This is the polar opposite of what I want when I go for some ice cream. Hey guys, let’s eat some gross tasting charcoal coconut slop just because it looks cool. Absolutely not. “But it’s so unique and abnormal so let me go dish out $500 because I’m one of the cool kids.”

We’re screwed. Absolutely screwed. We’ve got a couple clown shops running for president and now all the LES hipsters running around thinking it’s cool to eat this sloppy, disgusting, overpriced mud. Oh yeah, and all the tabloids and local news just aired it tonight, so free advertising

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People: Ya Gotta Stop Jumping in Front of Trains

February 2nd, 2016 9:45am Comments off

NY Daily News – A person was fatally struck by a Metro-North train in the Bronx Monday afternoon, sources said. The person was hit at about 3:30 p.m. by a northbound train passing through the Botanical Garden station at Bedford Park and Kazimiroff Blvds., MTA spokeswoman Meredith Daniels said.

Sources said the death was likely a suicide. The person’s name and gender has not yet been released. MTA officials are shutting down train service on two of the four tracks at that station, which will cause delays on Metro-North’s Harlem and New Haven lines, Daniels said.

Fuck this noise... Photo Cred: Mario Diaz/PIX11 News

F this noise… Then they wonder why I hit the bottle…  Photo Cred: Mario Diaz/PIX11 News

You know my series of blogs “if you do x, you deserve to die?” Welp. This is the one exception. Because in this case, dying is WAY too quick, painless and easy. How selfish do you have to be to knowingly jump in front of a train and cost thousands of people hours of  delays? Of all the places to kill yourself, you have to do it 1) right before rush hour and 2) on the main artery in/out of Grand Central that affects all three train lines. If you’re going to jump in front of a train in the first place, at least use your head about it, like killing yourself some other way. You’re going to make a couple of those poor commuters in Grand Central kill themselves next and then this will be a daily occurrence.

So I have a solution:

Read more…

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