Year: 2010
ALCS Time
Time for the Yankees to kick some serious ass.
Got to admit, I wasn’t optimistic in the end of September, but the Yanks were boss vs Minnesota. Now here are three things pissing me off about the ALCS:
- Why the fuck is it on TBS? TBS sucks balls. We’ve got the joke team announcing over here. Ernie Johnson? Ron Darling (ew, Mets announcer)? John Smoltz? And they you have that whack job goofball Craig Sager with his ridiculous assed suits. Where do you even get clown suits like that. Is this man for real? I’ve seen better dressed homeless bums in NYC.
- MLB umpires. Dumb and blind. Enough said
- Game 4 is an automatic loss, I promise. I should bet on it. Texas wins that game by 9. A.J Burnett on the hill and you have all the Texas hot hitters who are going to urinate all over the man’s black eye. I mean they guy is so bad he pitched a simulated game against the Yankees for practice and hit two Yankees and they had to cancel the practice because he was a wild mother fucker who’d probably hurt them. Good thing is Joe’s got his bullpen all prepped for Burnett lasting 1 2/3’s
Yankees in 6
If You Superglue Your Eyes Closed, You Deserve to Go Blind
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juAQrZQY59E&feature=player_embedded#
How fucking old, blind and stupid do you have to be to put super glue in your eyes instead of eye drops. How is that even possible? Don’t you store them in different locations? Like don’t the eyedrops go in the medicine cabinet or with all of the medical things? Or, why put superglue with your medical stuff, that should go in your hardware drawer. Organization you old crone. I can be fucking blind and I can tell you the difference between superglue and eye drops. Now the FDA is looking into the situation and will probably force these glue makers to get crazy new packaging, all because some old bitch glued her eyeballs shut like an asshole.
My favorite part of the whole article: “I’m not young anymore, but I’m not senile.” Listen you old bat, anyone who fucking confuses a bottle of superglue with eyedrops is not mentally all there. Period
A Nice 28 Out Win
This is what I’m talking about! Yanks battling it out in the postseason, coming back from behind. Tex’s home run, etc. Mo coming out for a 4 out save. Excellent win boys. CC was mediocre but good enough to take the game. No Roy Halladay out there, but a win is a win. I know I’ve been negative recently, but you need to go out there and support the greatest franchise ever. Let’s do it for the boss, boys.
And what the fuck was that shit about in the 9th – a great scoop by Golson which should have ended the game, but blind ass ump Chris Guccione said he trapped it? That’s bullshit, it was the cleanest catch I’ve seen all day. And upon review, all six morons got together to engage in groupthink and agree on the wrong call. God forbid that would have cost us the game, I would have boycotted baseball. If that ever happened and I were Girardi, there would be big problems. I’m talking rampages worse than that nutjob Wally Backman. I’d probably pop a squat mid field, dump a load on the ump’s shoes and smudge it on his face right in front of the whole stadium. But whatever, it just proves Mo can pitch 4 out 9th innings without any trouble. Just a little more practice, that’s all.
Keep it up boys!
If You Follow Your GPS Into a Lake, You Deserve to Die
Gizmodo – According to Spanish newspaper El Mundo, a 37-yo Senegalese man died when his car fell into a lake near the town of Capilla, Badajoz. According to his companionwho survived the accidentthe driver was following the GPS directions when the car fell into the water, sinking in just a few minutes.
According to amateur blog portfolioso.com, a 37-yo Sengalese man is a fucking idiot. If you are stupid enough to follow your GPS into a lake, you’re a damn moron and you need to be eliminated to improve the intelligence of the gene pool here on earth. It’s social Darwinism at it’s finest.
Pay the fuck attention you stupid idiot. You’re driving on a windy, dangerous, unfamiliar road – go slower. Last I checked, your GPS doesn’t drive your car for you. If you drove it off a road, you’re the one with the wheel and pedal asshole. So don’t give me any of this “oh it’s dark, it’s windy” bull, it’s 100% his fault. Could the GPS have been wrong? Yes, but it’s a machine – you use it to help you, not control you. Sorry but it’s called situational awareness. Very important.
So tell me who this schmuck fuckface companion is who survived? Another fucking idiot. What the hell was he doing when his friend was busy driving off a cliff – lounging? If they were in an unknown dark area, you think he’d be an extra set of eyes? You think he be screaming at his friend to stop driving like a maniac on some windy road with no divider and a huge drop into a lake.. Shame that guy walked away. Another moron who needs his genes of this planet.
I love reading these stories on the internet because it’s great ripping on these people. Obviously I’m 100% right. It’s like that fucking idiot who got run over following Google’s walking directions. Probably sued Google for like $300 million too.
PS – If you saw this post like 6 times on your news reader, I messed up. API tests/ reposting/ Twitter problems. Sorry
Cancel the ALCS
October 17, 2010
Sports
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Portfolioso
Yankees lost today. No biggie. I don’t know who started today but it sure wasn’t Phil Hughes. It’s not the worst to come out of Texas split 1-1. Only reason they lost is because of Michael Kay.
Yes. Michael Kay. Because he ran his fat fucking mouth after Friday’s win and said something along the lines of “that was a devastating loss for the Rangers. They are crushed and cannot recover from this. Yankees will easily take the series” You dumb shit, you ever hear of jinxing things? Second of all, it’s a best of 7 series. You have junkies like Josh Hamilton and other crazy ass hitters. Now we have to face Cliff Lee? F my life. Every time this man says something stupid, Yankees end up blowing. “OH MY GAWD. 3 up, 3 down. CC is perfect through 1 inning.”
Might as well cancel the ALCS because after a dumbass comment like that, Yanks are destined to drop 4 straight.
Yankees