Month: November 2011
No One Informed Me That I Was Supposed to Take the Crazy Train Tonight
The 6 train was out of control tonight. Absolute wackiest shit I’ve ever seen in my life. I think I ran into 3 bums, 2 people with Tourettes and a homeless politician/preacher. Not to mention the jolly singing homeless gentleman singing Christmas songs. It’s the beginning of November. Get a calendar.
Seriously… I walk to one end of the car and there’s a dude sleeping on the bench. He’s got a shopping cart duct taped to the subway pole with various shit in it. Across from him is another homeless dude with another cart of shit. This guy is preaching his ass off about “America is in trouble” and “the rich have it coming to them” and all that bullshit. The other homeless guy starts getting pissed because he was trying to sleep and told him to shut the fuck up. Another singing homeless dude joins the party and starts yelling at both of them because their carts of shit are blocking the way. Then I get a guy at the other end cursing his ass off and twitching.
They fucking bomb search me every day and you’ve got jokers just occupying the 6 train, disturbing the peace.
Only in New York, folks… Only in NY.
If they Fucking Bomb Search Me One More Time…
Do I look like a God Damn terrorist? No, there are no bombs in my bag and I have no plan on terrorizing shit. The absolute last thing I want to do is blow up the Grand Central subway station because then how the hell would I get to work? The trains break down enough already, so I don’t need to blow shit up to disrupt them further. DERP.
Every single time I walk into Grand Central with sunglasses and the fucking TSA jackasses are there searching people’s bags for bombs, I get stopped. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. This is like the 8th time I got stopped. Seriously, if I wear sunglasses, I get stopped. If I don’t have them on, I don’t get stopped.
They take this little cloth wipe and wipe your bag with it, then put it through a particleanalyzer. What particles are you searching for bros? I bet it’s a complete decoy and doesn’t do anything. While they’re over there searching my bag, they completely missed the c4 I have strapped around my belt…
The TSA is a waste of fucking money. These random searches won’t find shit. Guaranteed. It’s a big joke. Really… You think these terrorists don’t send someone to spot check the area and be like “hey bro with the bomb upstairs. Lets try this another time because they’re checking today” Holy shit…
So in this blog post, I will give advice to all you terrorists out there: leave those sunglasses at home, make sure you shave, and throw on a shirt and tie. No one will ever stop you. Guaranteed. Just walk onto those subways with dirty nukes, C4, nerve gas, MAC-10s, whatever you want. Because no one will search you. But God forbid you wear sunglasses. You’re fucked.
PS – let’s see how quickly the FBI breaks down my door because of this post. If they do, I’m out this bitch. I’ll find a freer country to live in.
Google Officially Hired a Blind Grandma as their new UI Designer
First they ruin GMail, then they ruined Google Reader. What’s next?My grandma has a better sense of UI design than these jokeshows.
What the fuck is with this new Google+ favicon? Looks like a pile of Communist shit. Honestly. The UI team over there was like… “to hell with colors. Let’s make everything gray with random reds”
Fix it bitches.
Idiotic Congress Declares Pizza a Vegetable
November 17, 2011
Rants
1 Comment
Portfolioso
This is why we can’t have nice things in the United States. We have a tanking economy, 10% unemployment,impending internet censorship, useless hippies occupying everything and not contributing dick to society, riots, crumbling roads etc…and what are our dumbfuck politicians worried about? Declaring pizza a vegetable. Are you fucking kidding me.
No wonder everyone here is a porker and Europeans make fun of us.Seriously, fuck this dumbass country. It’s going to shit because no one learns from history. All superpowers end. The US is fucking finished.
BRB. I have to go to the farmers market. Ihaveto pick up some pizza seeds and grow some pizzas.
Politics