Month: August 2012
iPhone 5 Speculators Are Jackasses
Fuck this bullshit Chinese parking lot attendant who claimed back in April that the iPhone 5 would be released in June. And Fuck the hipsters at Gizmodo for posting itand believing that some idiot in a booth actually knows inside info about Apple. It’s August. No iPhone 5. Shitheads.
If The Subway Turnstyle Swipe Reader Messes Up, I’m Jumping The Fuck Over It
- Swipe Card
- “Please Reswipe”
- I swipe again
- “Please Reswipe”
- I swipe again
- “Too Soon”
Today I jumped the fuck over a subway turnstyle in front of like 100 people at rush hour because the stupid ass thing refused to read my card and then locked me out. I looked like an asshole over there holding up 40 people because the shit wouldn’t read. What kind of a stupid ass turnstyle fails to read the card 3 times and then says “sorry, too soon- you can’t come in.” Fuck that noise. So no, I didn’t do anything wrong because I get unlimited rides anyway. It just screwed up. I was almost waiting for a cop to give me shit because I would have lost it on him/her
Besides that, it was 100 fuckin degrees, I was in a fighting mood because bitches stop on the fucking steps.Some fucker looked at me funny when I hopped it and I was like “Fuckin arrest me bitch.” It was 100% justified. Because I pay the stupid assed MTA like a bajillion dollars per month for unlimited use their shitty services and they can’t even have turnstyles that read my fucking card. You think I’m paying another $2.25 because their shit fucked up? Outside of your mind, I’m not giving them spit.The fucking things even say no tokens, that’s how old they are.
This isn’t even the first time this happened to me, that’s what gets me. One time I was at a station with a ceiling to floor barricade thingy and I had to go to the window and tell the stupid bitch to let me in because it fucked up.
Fuckin MTA.
If You Stop On The Subway Stairs to Check Your Phone, You’re a Cunt
Mother fuckers! Get out of my way! The narrow assed stairs are NO places to stand and dawdle on your phone, especially during mother fucking rush hour. Put that shit away and get out of my way. It’s two lanes – one up and one down. When you block one, no one can go anywhere. I had the urge to punt this bitch down the stairs and smash her phone through her skull, but I had to hold myself back.
So I have a new policy. Anytime some shithead does this, I will call them out 10 times out of 10. Like “Yep. Great place to stop, asshole” or “Not like anyone’s trying to get by, dickbreath.”These fuckers should get the death sentence for that shit.
Is this Bullshit Summer Over Yet? Summer in NYC Blows
I fucking despise summer. Summer in New York is one of the most miserable experiences ever. Period. Fuckin… the worst thing is dressing up in hot ass uncomfortable business clothes every day and standing like a sardine next to smelly, filthy motherfuckers and homeless on the subway for extended amounts of time because “ladies and gentlemen, we are delayed because of train traffic ahead of us. Thank you for your patience.” What the fuck is train traffic? Its a fuckin one way rail. How does that shit get delayed? Its not like some asshole got a flat tire and blocked the road, although with how shitty the MTA is, I wouldn’t be surprised if it WAS possible for those broken down shitpile trains to get flat tires.
It’s humid, there are millions of asshole tourists walking around, getting in my way. I’m sweaty, grumpy, pissy. My trains are delayed, the office AC is not cold enough, people smell like shit, people walk too slow, I can roast a chicken on the subway platforms. Fuck this noise.
I’ve come to the realization that unless I’m at the beach, there is absolutely no reason for it to be above 55 degrees.
Now don’t get me wrong. I love and need seasons, or I’d get bored. But we all know summer is virtually over after July 4ths like some unwritten rule. Once there are no more company holidays, its all bullshit.
Viva la fall!
PS – posted this shit from my Nexus 7 and the WordPress app. If it looks shitty, my bad. Love this stupid waste of money. Also, fuck Apple.
About Fuckin Time New York City Has a Rock Station Again
August 5, 2012
Music
No Comments
Portfolioso
I know radio is dead and shit, but it’s just not right for a major city to not have a rock station. From what I heard, I’m pumped: Foo Fighters, 311, Sublime, Nirvana, AIC, Metallica, Stone Temple Pilots, Rage Against the Machine, Live, Bush, Velvet Revolver, Nirvana, Kings of Leon, The Black Keys, Incubus, JET, Audioslave, Cage the Elephant, Green Day, Linkin Park, Nine inch Nails, The Offspring. Great driving music because I’m too lazy to fuck around with an iPod.