Archive for 2018

This Video of the Batshit Teacher Singing and Cutting Students’ Hair is BANANAS

December 7th, 2018 2:18am Comments off

This story is bananas. Probably the most absurd thing of 2018. Everything about this video and story is fascinating. It gets wilder by the minute when you watch the video:

Yowza! That lady literally lost her goddamn mind. Which leads me to the following questions:

  1. At first, I was wondering what kind of drugs make you do this? What kind of loony-juice makes a person scream the national anthem, chase after kids with scissors and cut their hair – in the middle of chemistry class? Or… What happened in her life that made her go nutzo? Or… Literally what makes you think it’s okay to act a fool like that. Even if you have the urge to do or say stupid shit – don’t you understand 1) you’ll look like a lunatic 2) people are taking video and making you viral – in a bad way and 3) just chill the fuck out and do literally anything else but that.  Unfortunately, mental illness is a real thing and no matter what the circumstance, the woman needs help.
  2. If you’re that kid, how the hell are you sitting down again when that psycho bitch tells you to after she already cut your hair? How? But if some middle aged, trippin’ assed white lady came at me with scissors and started cutting my hair, I’d be like: “Bitch are you OUTSIDE your mind?” and I would bounce ASAP.
  3. The biggest question is – how does a school district hire this lady to begin with?!?! Are they that desperate? Holy moly. Her former employment was in food safety, and a weights and measures inspector. Literally going to the local Walmart’s deli and checking to make sure their scales are accurate; shit like that. How do you go from that – to teaching high school chemistry? Chem’s hard. I was in normal people chemistry in 10th grade (not honors, and I was mostly in honors science classes) and it was still hard, but I liked it… Which brings me to my next point – school administrators usually mess everything up. The fact that this woman was suspended two times already and they still took her back is an insult to humanity. How do you think the conversation went when they renewed her for the next year? “Uhhh, Chad? Soooo… We kinda don’t have any qualified applicants to properly teach chemistry up in this joint, but the current lunatic we have now who was suspended a couple times will have to do, okay?” “Sounds good, Constance.”

Do they not hunt around for rumors or monitor Twitter and notice things like @rafaelvazquez79 ‘s tweet: “Free Mrs. G she was hella cool and chill! Back to when she wasn’t wildin 😪” Followed by a video of her tweaking out and flipping water bottles.  Pretty sure if I’m on the board or making a re-hiring decision, I’d see that on Twitter and would be like “Iight… This is going to be a lot of paperwork, but we simply cannot have this woman wildin anymore in our district. Not under my watch! First it’s just a little wildin, but before you know it, they’re bringing national attention to your school for a viral video of trying to murder kids with scissors while screaming the national anthem at the top of their lungs.”

I’m using that from now on. Anytime anyone I respected loses their mind, I’ll 100% tweet about how they were mad cool, before they were wildin’

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@AnthemInc Support Reps F’in Suck at their Jobs

November 16th, 2018 3:01am Comments off

This is legitimately the WORST customer support response I’ve ever received. Period. Flat out embarrassment. Whoever took the time to “reply” to my question is a lazy moron who probably pastes the same canned response to everyone, telling them to call the phone people so they don’t have to handle it. We actually had a support rep where I worked a few years back do the same thing. Guy’s only job was to respond to tickets – no phones – and he was finally fired after we discovered he was sending generic responses back, not answering the question, telling people to call in instead. So much for diverting calls away from our phone reps… Wonder if this is the same idiot:

Get the FUCK lost. I have no patience for shit like this.

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“The Microsoft Surfacebook Is a Piece of Shit” Rant of the Century

November 1st, 2018 1:07am Comments off

I have a Gen 1 Surface Book that I had to beg for and pull strings at work to get (replacing a banged up, 3 year old Lenovo). Honestly… I wanted it so badly. I needed a hardware upgrade, my Lenovo was a plastic piece of shit that was literally falling apart (but was a solid performer) and I was ready for something sleek. Something I could bring to tech meetups, conferences etc without looking like a poor. I had it less than a year… I know the Surfacebook 2 is out (with no USB-C, what the actual fuck Microsoft), but when you work at a corporate assed company, you don’t get cutting edge shit. I was fine with that… I was super happy to finally have a sleek looking laptop – Microsoft’s MacBook competitor… And it’s a fucking piece of shit. I tried hard to like it, but it stinks on ice.

My first pet peeve is that it’s fucking slow… That’s right. It’s a DUAL CORE i7 Skylake processor. The fuck? Dual core? They made dual core laptops in 2007. I was literally in college when dual core laptops came out. My goddamn router and raspberry pi have more cores. So I literally had an older Lenovo that was a quad core i7 (albeit the previous generation of Intel chips), but it had 8 threads and more processing power… What effed this thing in the A were the Spectre and Meltdown vulnerability patches. Intel’s firmware patches in combination with Windows 10’s software mitigations literally made it run 25% slower – no exaggeration… On top of that Google Chrome (which is also on my shit list as of late), started sandboxing each tab into its own process which made that run shittier and used 15% more RAM (and it was already a fucking memory hog)… So much for advancing technology. You literally buy a device, and omg all of a sudden there’s a vulnerability and now we’re going to patch it and make it 25% slower. We’re literally regressing in time…

Next problem. It has a weird 3000 x 2000 HiDPI display. Cool, right? It’s equivalent to Apple’s Retina Display? For sure not. This is singlehandedly my number one pet peeve with this. 90% of applications cannot handle multi-monitor, mixed DPI setups. What do I mean by this? Well… When you have a 15″ screen at 3000×2000 pixels, you need to set OS scaling to 150,175 or 200% or else it looks like a microscopic asshole. When you have other displays connected, those are not necessarily high DPI, so they are scaled to 100%. So MSFT in recent updates to Windows 10 added an API that helps develops scale their apps on. And everyone on the Windows DPI team is a fucking moron because it works like shit and/or no software developers actually take the time to implement it roperly. Like Google. The number one used app and number one offender of this problem.  Chrome is buggy af on this display and no one from Google seems to give a shit (I almost went on a tangent on this here, but there’s a whole other blog about it if you care, which you probably don’t because no one reads this shit). Microsoft’s solution? Use Universal Windows Platform (UWP) apps from the MSFT store. Fuck outta hea…  90% of enterprise apps are not available as a UWP binary… While native Windows 10 apps are cool and I’m a fan of them, they are not practical for business applications. CHROME, Visual Studio, VS Code, SQL Server Management studio – all of these apps have problems on high DPI, multi-monitor displays.

Next problem: Less than one year into having it? One of the goddamn batteries fails… That’s right. The Surface Book has two batteries… One in the screen (which also contains the processor, SSD, RAM etc), and one in the keyboard (which is the main battery that holds 75% of the charge)… As we all know, battery technology is shit and hasn’t improved since the 90s and the battery in my screen flat out dies. Dead. 0% and not charging. Which means I can’t even detach the screen anymore because the software says I don’t have any battery (not that I detatched it much because that was also a gimmicky piece of shit). I had two Lenovos in 8 years… Between them both, the battery only failed one time… But a brand new, ~1 year old Surface Book had one fail way too soon.

eat a dick


So we had a new hire and he got some new Lenovo. Typical plastic-bodied piece of shit with the clit mouse (which I actually prefer, because all touchpads suck balls). And I looked at it and not only is it the latest generation i7 which isn’t as affected by the Spectre/Meltdown patches that slowed it to shit, but it has a USB-C charger and two USB-C ports… Meanwhile, Microsoft, in 2018, releases the

So your official review of the Surface Book (1 or 2) is that it’s a goddamn piece of shit, embarrassment which you should not buy. While, I dislike Apple and MacOS, you cannot deny that Apple’s hardware (ie – MacBook) is sexy and you’re better off getting one of those and dual booting to Windows if you must use the Windows ecosystem. And I bet it’s not a piece of shit like the Surface Book, which launches with outdated peripherals and is put to shame by some Chinese Lenovo piece of shit with a bad body but is actually a solid performer.

PS – Random rant on how software is buggy: What the actual fuck is going on in the technology world? Between Microsoft’s shitty Windows Update bugs, Google Chrome going from awesome to shit in 10 years, Android App bugs, Nest bugs, Waze bugs… Everything stinks.  You know what the problem is? Too many people are overpaid product owners / UX Designers. These people are fucking morons. All they care about is releasing new features… No one cares about speed, performance and stability. No one.. And I’m fucking sick of it. You know how many times as of late I tried to do something that should have taken me 20 seconds and I struggle with it for hours due to bad UX, bugs and idiocy? Every single day of the week and twice on Sundays.

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Sometimes I Wonder Weird Things… (tl;dr social media ramble)

October 7th, 2018 1:22am Comments off

Social media stinks. Facebook is garbage (politics are garbage, don’t want to hear it, k thx). I’m over bitching on Twitter, and am trying to get more positive. Instgram’s cool for now (I’m sure Facebook will ruin it eventually), especially seeing a stream of people’s life experiences.

Made me wonder about why social media is bad for society these days. I was out at dinner tonight and there were a bunch of high school kids at homecoming. Not talking, just on their phones 85% of the time I looked over. A table full of middle school kids – all on phones.

But most important reason social media is bad is that it’s addictive. Obsessedly checking for likes probably hits all the same sections of the brain as hardcore drugs do…

So real talk – I was going through my feed and liking people’s posts. And I flat out don’t like some. I’m either not into that person, or my idiot negatively firing brain for no good reason just wants to make fun of people’s looks or bullshit like that. But I want to be a nice person so I’ll never be mean… So I tell myself, wtf – these people can’t help how they look, they’re happy, why are you trying to rain on their parade ya fuckin miserab. So I stop because I don’t have any room for being a jerk to people.

Where am I going with this? So I wondered if people wondered or noticed I don’t give a royal shit about them, on the grounds that I don’t like or comment on any of their posts. And that’s narcissistic af, amirite?

And this is exactly my point of why social media is a dumpster fire. Because before all this shit, I’d be out in nature with friends having a ball. But what am I doing instead? Obsessingly checking for likes, having asshole, negative thoughts and being a narcissist who wonders if people are mad or notice that I like it some people’s shit but not theirs. Does it make them feel bad, jealous? Do they not care back? Not notice? Why am I thinking these things? Jeeeeeesus.

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Let’s Analyze This HS Bro’s Yearbook Page

September 25th, 2018 12:22am Comments off

So I’m going to analyze Brett Kavanaugh’s yearbook entry, because I’m an expert at all of this. I worked on high school and college yearbooks and I went to HS and College with many sports bros so let’s pick out a couple things from above and study them a little closer. Given all the controversy, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if you’re looking at the HS yearbook page your future Supreme Court Justice…

What a fuckin alcoholic jock bro asshole extraordinaire. Reading this reminds me of all the assholes I hated in high school. All the mean, jock, partying bros. Back then I was bitter about it because I didn’t have any fun in high school. I was a goody two shoes. Studied on weekends, didn’t go to the football games, and wasn’t popular with the sportsball players. I’m not trying to be some temperance crusader, but people like this stink.

“Georgetown vs Louisville – Who Won the Game Anyway” and “Orioles vs Red Sox, Who Won Anyway” – Translation: We were all blackout drunk and have no idea who won the game. I’ve been there. Been to a couple Yankee Games with the boys and got so plastered I had no idea what the actual hell happened in the game. We were just heckling the guards for not letting us sit closer and having a time. Nothing wrong with it as long as you don’t go sexually harassing people.

“Have You Boofed Yet” – Gotta be honest. Never heard of boof. Had to Urban Dictionary it and came up with these two gems:


If you’re going to “boof” you might as well just have a little weed, because funneling booze up your asshole seems a little extreme. But hey, our Tweeter in Chief think’s it’s okay to to grab women by the pussy these days, so what’s the harm in railing a little coke up your butthole – seems like something your average Supreme Court Justice would be down with.

“Beach Week Ralph Club” –  Throw up club, duh. When you Ralph, you puke.

“Renate Alumnius” – Obviously ya boy Brett and his football team ran train on poor Renate. The fact that his lawyer issued a statement on this is laugh out loud funny. “A White House spokesman, Raj Shah, declined to comment beyond the statement from Judge Kavanaugh’s lawyer. Four of the men who were pictured with Judge Kavanaugh in a photo captioned ‘Renate Alumni’ said it was simply a reference to their dating or going to dances with Ms. Dolphin.” 😂😂😂😂😂. Tell me another one. A bunch of guys innocently dating or going to a dance or two with the same girl is 1000000% not inside joke yearbook worthy. The only way you all do that is if you all hooked up. End of story.  I’m thinking it was something more along the lines of  what happened with Miami’s 7th Floor Crew:

Guy seems like an absolute gem. Sounds like a person who’d make sound decisions for the US of A.

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