Author: Portfolioso
26% of These Poll Respondents Should be Shot Dead
Source: techcrunch.com
This is part 2 of my 117 part series on why the iPad sucks. Everyone else blogs about it nonstop, so I need to join the club.
So I was browsing through my RSS feeds and came across this article on TechCrunch, which made me spit out my coffee and rage.
Apparently, 26% of the people they polled are happy about the iPad because it “may replace the iPhone.”
Are you people FUCKING STUPID? The iPad lacks the ability to make phone calls/ is not registered on a cell carrier, so explain to me how it’s going to replace a phone? And do you you know how ridiculous you’d look talking into a giant tablet pressed to your head?
If this stupidity keeps up, I am going to quit the internet and move to a cabin in Alaska. Apple really knows how to make the tech industry regress. People think this shitpad is so revolutionary, but it really is not. It’s bringing us backwards.
Edit: So I scrolled down the post and there was another graph about what people didn’t like about the iPhone. 26% of them said that it “won’t replace my iPhone” Make up your minds, ignoramuses. I scrolled further, and 87% said they’d buy it anyway
……………………………………..________
………………………………,.-‘……………….“~.,
………………………..,.-……………………………..-.,
…………………….,/………………………………………..:,
…………………,?………………………………………………\\,
………………./…………………………………………………..,}
……………../………………………………………………,:`^`..}
……………/……………………………………………,:………/
…………..?…..__…………………………………..:`………../
…………./__.(…..~-,_…………………………,:`………./
………../(_….~,_……..~,_………………..,:`…….._/
……….{.._$;_……=,_…….-,_…….,.-~-,},.~;/….}
………..((…..*~_…….=-._……;,,./`…./…………../
…,,,___.\\`~,……~.,………………..`…..}…………../
…………(….`=-,,…….`……………………(……;_,,-
…………/.`~,……`-………………………….\\……/\\
………….\\`~.*-,……………………………….|,./…..\\,__
,,_……….}.>-._\\……………………………..|…………..`=~-,
…..`=~-,_\\_……`\\,……………………………\\
……………….`=~-,,.\\,………………………….\\
…………………………..`:,,………………………`\\…………..__
……………………………….`=-,……………….,%`>–==“
…………………………………._\\……….._,-%…….`\\
……………………………..,<`.._|_,-&“…………….`\\
OMG iPad
Shut the fuck up about the fucking iPad. It’s a piece of shit. I can’t go anywhere on the internet without it being shoved down my throat. I went to my Google Reader and 98/103 items are about this stupid shit. Images, videos, people stampeding one another, morons camping out for days in lines, app reviews, accessories. I don’t care. Shut up. It’s all nonsense. All for a stupid tablet that can only do one thing at a time. All these websites and companies are going nuts developing apps for this stupidity.
It’s all a novelty. I can get a netbook for the same price with more space, a real keyboard, Windows 7, a camera. But no. Computer applications are not as good as iPad apps. OMG APPS. They’re good for mobile devices, but it’s absurd that developers need to waste their time making apps specifically for the iPad. Unfortunately, they have to, because if they don’t they’ll be behind the times.
Waste of money
And why would you ever spend more money on a 3G version. There goes an extra monthly fee? Newsflash – 3G isn’t that good. It’s slow, it’s choppy, it cuts out all the time. Shut up. All it’s doing is costing people money -WSJ and NY Times all charging ridiculous monthly fees for content. It’s actually a clever scam. Really clever.
Apple has created a cult following. The iPad isn’t even that great, but everyone is now obsessed with anything Apple releases. It’s brilliant how the company built up their brand image.
To quote Colbert: “just like the iPhone, you can’t make calls with it”
Fantasy Baseball Time, Suckers
Results of the 2010 CBS sports Fantasy baseball draft (before you complain it’s weak, it’s a 12 person league so relax:
| McCann, Brian C ATL |
| Pena, Carlos 1B TB |
| Getz, Chris 2B KC |
| Jones, Chipper 3B ATL |
| Rollins, Jimmy SS PHI |
| Heyward, Jason RF ATL |
| Holliday, Matt LF STL |
| Kubel, Jason LF MIN |
| Damon, Johnny LF DET |
| Active Pitchers |
| Bell, Heath RP SD |
| Broxton, Jonathan RP LA |
| Cain, Matt SP SF |
| Hughes, Phil SP NYY |
| Lincecum, Tim SP SF |
| Penny, Brad SP STL |
| Wolf, Randy SP MIL |
| Reserve Batters |
| DeRosa, Mark 3B SF |
| Bonifacio, Emilio 3B FLA |
| Drew, J.D. RF BOS |
| Fukudome, Kosuke RF CHC |
| Reserve Pitchers |
| Blackburn, Nick SP MIN |
| Lohse, Kyle SP STL |
Bracket Update
My 2010 March Madness bracket is ruined. Completely wrong. All of the teams I picked to get to the Final Four are out. This is why I don’t bet money on this crap. Second, I don’t know anything about college basketball. It’s been fun though.
It’s a safe bet to say that if you want to do well in your bracket, look at mine and pick the complete opposite teams. Cya in 2011.
Life Without Oxygen
April 8, 2010
Science
2 Comments
Portfolioso
Newsflash. I had this theory since I was 7 years old and obsessed with space in second grade, and every time I told teachers and other people, I got laughed at. Who’s right now, suckers!
Who the hell says life needs oxygen to live? I always had it in my mind that maybe different forms of life can survive using different elements. Get out of your bubble people! Maybe oxygen is toxic to some organism on another planet. Just because life on earth as we know it requires oxygen doesn’t mean that some other creature on some other planet can’t live by synthesizing let’s say, methane gas.