Author: Portfolioso
The NY Mets Can’t Sing for Shit
Typical Mets, always doing it wrong. Can’t Win. Bunch of tone-deaf jokesters. Laughingstock of NYC. This is the worst Christmas Medley since my 4th grade choir concert. My grandma could sing better.
#YeahJeets Has Gotta Be 100% True Since It’s On Barstool and Reddit
Few years back in college, a buddy of mine told me a story about Jeter getting a BJ from one of his friend’s friends and he was all like “Yeah Jeets.” Welp, it’s been an inside joke between us and we used to get hammered at the stadium and scream it at the top of our lungs when he was at bat. Either way, I couldn’t confirm this was true, but it was still funny. WELL……. Now that Barstool and Reddit broke the story, I’m sold. There’s a 100% chance this actually happened:
Barstool:http://www.barstoolsports.com/nyc/super-page/the-best-derek-jeter-gossip-youll-ever-hear-yeahjeets/
Reddit:http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1qs3yr/former_groupies_of_reddit_what_was_your/cdg0q3i
Jennifer Lawrence Looks Like an Asshole with Short Hair
Bro. The fuck did you do to yourself? This is some self mutilation caliber shit. She looks more butch than Ellen DeGeneres. There is nothing worse than when smoking hot chicks shave their head and look like shit thereafter. This is a serious issue. Like… I no longer want to bang her serious.
Emma Watson pulled this shit in 2010. Don’t you people learn?
PS – I’d still do everything to her
The Fact that Some Local News Station Says that Connecticut has Great Pizza is Fucking Blasphemy
NEW HAVEN, CT (WFSB) -Connecticut is known for great pizza and now, a list shows that the nutmeg state has the number one pizza in the country.Pizzas from three restaurants in New Haven were named in TheDailymeal.com’s top 101 list. The site is devoted to news and trends about food and dining.Frank Pepe’s white clam pie was named the number one pizza in the country. Sally’s Apizza’s tomato pie was listed at number 7 and Modern Apizza’s Italian bomb pizza at 11.The sausage pie at Colony Pizza in Stamford was ranked number 27 and the Margherita pizza at Alforno in Old Saybrook was listed at number 68
I have a huge problem with thedailymeal.com and with this shitty ass local news station. The balls on them. Connecticut by far has the shittiest fucking pizza in the United States. Are you for real? I had Pepe’s in Fairfield. It’s decent compared with the rest of the other shitty places, there is no way that some New Haven place has the best pizza in the country. No way, I’d sign my life away on that. I mean come on. You have Chicago, Brooklyn, Long Guy Land. There is NO way in hell this is the best pizza.
Pet Peeve: Elevator Door Close Buttons
December 12, 2013
Rants
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Portfolioso
You know what really pisses me off? The close door button on an elevator. It NEVER WORKS. What’s the point then? I get to an elevator in my lobby and start hitting the button so I can go up to my floor in peace, but instead, the door stays open for another 15 seconds until the curry powder smelling Indian chick gets on.
Fucking elevators.