Author: Portfolioso
This is an Idiotic Study Regarding Texting and Lying
Gizmodo – Researchers at Brigham Young University found that texts containing a lie took longer to compose and were often shorter than truthful texts. The researchers found that through exact measurement and modeling they could predict SMS lies more accurately.
This is exactly why China and India are good at math and engineering and shit, and the United States is becoming a second world bunch of idiots. Really? We needed a scientific study about how it takes people longer to lie via text message? NO SHIT.
When you lie, you need to think more so your story is bulletproof. Lying is an art – you have to be creative. It’s my policy not to lie because I have the memory of a fucking goldfish and will get caught up in it every single day of the week and twice on Sundays. For fucks sake, I just paid my credit card bill twice because I didn’t remember paying it THE DAY BEFORE. If you lie, you need to be sharp. Your story can’t have holes in it. You need to come around full circle and make sure it makes sense. This takes more time than if you’re telling the truth.
Also, it’s a stupid fucking assumption that because it takes longer to answer a text, you’re lying. Maybe I don’t like you. Maybe I’m busy….
‘Merica
A History Lesson To Mr. Barack Hussein Obama
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhpKmQCCwB8
“America, it’s time to start bringing our troops home. It’s time to admit that no amount of American lives can resolve the political disaggreement that lies at the heart of someone else’s civil war.” – Barack Obama, February 10, 2007
Dear Hypocrite (and asshole Congress who will 94% most likely approve military action),
I cannot get over how full of shit you are. How little integrity you have. Listen to yourself above. This is 100% the opposite of what you want to do in Syria.Ask yourself what attacking Syria will accomplish. Because it’s the same bullshit. Can’t you see these Middle Eastern conflicts are of no concern or threat to the United States? They’ve been going on for thousands of years and will continue to go on for thousands of years. Fucking let them kill each other, gas each other, jerk each other off, or do whatever they want to do. How is that a threat to America’s national security? It’s not. Do you understand how much this shit will cost? How many more innocent people will come back with legs blown off or dead. If you fuck with Syria, you’ll have a bunch of their allies mad at us. Idiot.
Learn from fucking history: Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq wars…. Fucking wastes. This will be another long drawn out bullshit that is 100% unnecessary. I’m not even anti-war. If some country attacked us, I’d say wipe them out. I’m just anti “dumb as fuck” war. And unless some country declares war and flies shit over here and parks ships in our ports and starts attacking US citizens, war is never the right answer. Imagine if China was all like “we don’t like your style so we’re gonna shoot missiles at your cities.” That’s basically what we do to countries. And I don’t blame them for fucking hating our guts.
Eat a bag of dicks,
Portfolioso
PS – Someone put Ron Paul on suicide watch.

What’s the Over/Under South Carolina Secedes from the Union Again?
October 4, 2013
Useless Update
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Portfolioso
Oh my. I smell Civil War 2. South Carolina basically telling the federal government to go fuck themselves. Don’t like this federal law? Fuck that, we’ll just nullify this. Makes me laugh. It criminalizes its implementation? So who would get arrested and shit for trying to enforce it? Feds? Congressmen? Obama? Guess what: This whole state notion of “fuck what the federal government says” works up to the point where federal government starts cutting state funding unless they ratify their shit. This is why motherfuckers can’t drink until they’re 21. Technically, a state could be like “eat a dick feds, let’s make the age 18 again so people like portfolioso don’t turn into raging alcoholics in college.” But the government is all like “nah son, I won’t give you highway money.” And the states are all whores for money, so they comply.
I’ve been thinking lately: The United States is a stupid assed fucking country with idiotic politicians and more problems that can ever be solved. But like… I’m still free. It’s not like I live in some hut in Africa drinking bacteria water, need to cloak myself in the Middle East while dodging bombs from thousands of years of civil war, and I can still go on Facebook, unlike China. The only thing worse than those is probably Time Warner Cable. Internet in Zimbabwe is more reliable. But I digress.
So despite the United States being all fucked up, fighting idiotic wars, cancelling government, states straight up trying to nullify federal law (which is actually allowed in the Constitution)…. It’s just a comedy show. I shouldn’t get all pissed about it because there’s no fixing it. As long as I can do whatever the fuck I want without harming others, so be it. So what if the NSA is spying on my shit? I’m against the shit out of that and think it’s criminal, but I’m not doing anything wrong, so whatever. Let them waste their time watching me do stupid shit like complain about servers crashing on twitter and blogging (read : first amendment free speech) about whatever the fuck I want.
Enjoyyyyy
Government