Author: Portfolioso
This Bald Ass Facebook Pic I Was Tagged in is Freaking Me Out
I cut my face out because I'm a paranoid asshole
This is a bunch of horse shit. How did this even happen? Was it the angle? I look like I’m fuckin 48 and bald. I can’t be bald right? It’s gotta be a combo of the camera angle, lighting and background right? I better not go bald anytime soon. This pic is legitimately freaking me out.
Vote 1 if I’m going bald in two years and 10 for a bad angle/background.
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F Dollar Coins. No Wonder This Country is Beyond Broke
NPR– We recently reported on the the government’s failed effort to persuade Americans to use dollar coins. But the coins have found at least one group of fans: Travel enthusiasts who buy thousands of dollar coins with credit cards that award frequent-flier miles for purchases. Once in possession of the coins shipped to them by the government for free they can deposit them into their bank accounts and pay off the credit card bills. The result: a free ticket to anywhere.
That’s it. I’m moving to fucking Sweeden because this country is out of control. Whose idiotic idea was it to use dollar coins. Dudes don’t want to carry around coins. The only time I see them is in train station vending machines. That’s it.
But that’s not what I’m ranting about. We actually have a program that promotes the distribution f this crap? So you mean to tell me I can blow my entire credit card limit on these shits and get rewards points? Fuck man, something is wrong here. Not only does this country waste money because it costs more to make a coin vs a piece of paper, but they have to ship them? What the hell is this crap! Smells like a waste to me…
One time, Danny tried paying for a beer with dollar coins and the bartender fucking threw us right out of the bar. Legit kicked out. That’s how pissed off she got. Straight up insult. f that noise.
This Reporter is So Dumb, It’s Borderline Hot
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XL_wBf5-92U
Uhhh. What kind of joke news channel is this, hiring giggly 18 year old girls who are awful at speaking the news. Stop being so dramatic, it’s only a little sprinkle. I’m pretty sure if a helicoptor dumped thousands of gallons of water directly on you, it would hurt. I can get this bitch wetter than that helicopter did.
So THIS Is What It’s Like When Youtube Slaps You on The Wrist For Copyright Infringement
Welp, woke up this morning to a nice email from Youtube, saying that one of my videos was deleted due to a copyright claim from 20th Century Fox Film Corporation. To be honest, I couldn’t even tell you what the hell the video was, because 1) I uploaded it like three years ago and 2) it was probably only like 10-15 seconds of something irrelevant. So anyway, what doesn’t make sense is that I uploaded this in 2009 and it got9,985 views. I had another Family Guy clip that got 119,000 views in the same amount of time. That didn’t get flagged. Obviously, I took them all down because this account is tied to my main Google account and I don’t want any trouble. All I’m saying is that if I support an artist or a show, I’ll buy the material. For instance, you fuckers should all buy this album. I did. It’s legit. But I digress…
So I logged in and got this:
Then, before my account was reactivated, I had to go to copyright school:
Hey Fox: Go fuck yourselves. I am not here trying to upload entire Family Guy episodes. You happy I took my other ones down now? I have a mother fuckin permanent strike against my account now. I’m not allowed to make unlisted videos anymore. Assholes.
I Just Choked Like the NY Mets Playing Cards Tonight
July 18, 2011
Rants
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Portfolioso
I just did a stupid thing. I had quite the epic battle going on with the mover in a tight game of rummy. There were about 3 lead changes and we went into the final round 5 points off. I go into the final round pumped, ready to win (since I lost yesterday).
I was killing the guy in the final round. I had all these points on board and was all set to make more and put the game to bed. BUT…. I threw a card out that I needed for myself but didn’t see it. He took it and ended the game with it. That stupid ass card could have given me more points, but because I was blind and tossed it, he took it and I ended up losing ALL of my points that round. And I lost the game.
Straight up reminded me of the time ARod hit a routine fly ball out which would have lost the game and Castillo dropped it like an asshole. Except I’m the Mets this time. Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it…
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmcI0J2H4TI