Author: Portfolioso
Am I Missing Something Here?
Mashable – Groupon CEO Andrew Mason announced the decision yesterday on the company’s blog, stating: We’ve listened to your feedback, and since we don’t see the point in continuing to anger people, we’re pulling the ads. Mason noted that a few ads may still be running on February 11, but will be off the air as soon as possible.
To those who were offended, I feel terrible that we made you feel bad, wrote Mason. While we’ve always been a little quirky, we certainly aren’t trying to be the kind of company that builds its brand on creating controversy – we think the quality of our product is a much stronger message.
Mason’s decision comes after a post on February 7, the day after the game, in which he explained that he takes the causes mentioned in the ads whales, Brazilian rain forest deforestation and human rights in Tibet seriously, and that the company was raising money for organizations related to those causes.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeYtnw4zyg4
Clearly I’m missing something over here. I watched this Groupon Superbowl ad 5 times and still fail to see what is so offensive about it. Here is the transcript, broken down line for line, and with my comments:
- Mountainous Tibet. One of the most beautiful places in the world. Sounds okay to me
- This is Timothy Hutton. Sup dude?
- The people of Tibet are in trouble. Okay, that sucks. Maybe I’ll go wikipedia what’s up with the human rights issues there. Thanks for raising awareness and making me a better global citizen
- Their very culture is in Jeopardy. That sucks. Feel bad for you, bros.
- But they still whip up an amazing fish curry. Gross. Sounds disgusting.
- And since 200 of us bought a groupon.com, we’re each getting $30 of Tibetan food for just $15 for Himalayan restaurant in Chicago. Sounds good to me.
Here’s the rainforest one:
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtH_Zka_o7U
It starts off very serious and seems genuinely like they;re trying to raise awareness. Then they say: “But not all deforestation is bad” and then it’s a waxing commercial. Har har har. Clever. Um… They were making a clever joke about hair you morons. They weren’t talking about fucking trees when they said “not all deforestation is bad.”
Oh and even though Elizabeth Hurley is like 50, I’d pretty much be up for anything with her, forest or not.
Here’s the Whale one:
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fboyGZm_IdM
“Someone’s gotta save them… But it’s more fun watching them jumping and playing” – I’m assuming that means go ahead and save them so we can watch them jump and play. No one ever said they were going to just let whales drop the hell dead. Then there would be none to watch. Duh
No one can take a fucking joke anymore. Man up. Yes, these aren’t the funniest commercials. They’re borderline meh/average. But that’s not the point. I mean, poor Groupon spent $3 million dollars on this shit only to get a bad rep? They’re helping you save money. Be appreciative, assclowns.
PS – I really want to say that the CEO is a pussy for pulling the ads and not growing balls enough to stand by and defend them. At the same time, I understand how he doesn’t want to drive the company underground. Sometimes you just have to please the masses and if that means you look like a little bitch to save your company and get richer, so be it.
PPS – Livingsocial should run ads saying that Groupon is a cold heartless company that supports deforestation and killing whales. That’d sink em!
Rabbit’s Got The Right Idea
Valentines Day is in a few days. Let’s take some advice from Rabbit:
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCCM_ZY2bXQ-woE&start=124
We must cancel Valentines Day! Whoever wrote this episode in the early 1990s was brilliant!
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PS – this show was my entire childhood and if you don’t have a soft spot for Winnie the Pooh, you are false.
PS again – Is Rabbit supposed to be a dude? Because he sure doesn’t sound like one. Since childhood, I always thought he was a woman because he PMSed on everyone 24/7 and was always in the garden and kitchen.
Protip: Don’t get Caught Looking
February 14, 2011
Useless Update
No Comments
Portfolioso
First off, this is completely theoretical and never actually happened to me, maybe.
Say I’m walking behind some hot girl with a legitimate ass in tight jeans. There is nothing else to look at that’s more important at that moment than that ass (unless you’re a gay, and there’s nothing wrong with that). So here I am just walking behind someone – my eyes target-locked on, mouth probably gaping wide open like a kid on Christmas morning, etc. So obviously it’s safe to stare right? People don’t have eyes behind them.
NOPE. There’s a fucking glass window to the side and in front of her. So I look up and see the reflection of myself clearly. Here I am, making all kinds of faces, drooling, etc. and my reflection is like 100% visible. Nice. Might as well have been a mirror. I probably didn’t get caught but it was damn close.
Yeah caught looking sucks. Might need to work on that a little bit. I’ll have to admit, there are two reasons I end up looking at people for awkwardly long amounts of time: 1) they’re hot or 2) they’re ugly as fuck. I mean one time I got hardcore called out by someone visiting for a few days who flat out asked “Why are you looking at me?” That’s ballsy right there. I like that.
Yeah, haven’t made it out of 7th grade, bitches.