Author: Portfolioso


So Pissed I Didn’t Get This Picture


I’m walking down 23rd and Lex to this $1 pizza place which my coworker told me about (I’m going to get so fucking fat now) and there’s this old bro just killing it with a pimped out walker. Legit decrepit old man straight out of the veteran’s hospital or something, just strutting down 23rd st with bling all over his walker and a “BKLN IN DA HOUSE” sign tied on.Literally made my day.

Huge mistake not grabbing that pic. Would have been a classic.

Rush Hour Rant: Narrow Steps


Random black dude and a Life logo, proving I jacked this photo off Google Images. Plus, it's not even crowded, so it doesn't prove my point. Whatever bitches.

I think I’m going to add a weekly subway segment on this blog. Face it, if you commute to NYC every day, you’ll see some classic bullshit on those subways. Rats, piss, bums, reggae dudes – you name it, it’s there. Between the MTA sucking asshole nonstop and raising fares and a mob of angry New Yorkers, I have literally infinite amounts of material to post. So her goes rant number the first: subway station steps during rush hour.

Target: 23rd St. downtown 6 station 9:30AM

Synopsis: A southbound train approaches thestationand lets out a ton of people.

A rush hour train just dumped out 100 people trying to walk up a narrow staircase two by two. These stupid jokers outside decide to squeeze their way down the steps, forcing everyone to walk single file up the steps. This generally halts traffic to a dead stop and the whole ordeal now takes minutes. I mean, it was slow enough to begin with! For fuck’s sake, I want to MURDER the assholes who do this because it screws everything up. Like here I am, walking up the steps minding my own business and all of a sudden I’m face to balls with some joke shop who couldn’t wait an extra minute for the crowd to clear. Now I need to completely stop, merge in to the other side (which is next to impossible). Result? Everyone stands still. One time I totally zoned out up those steps, half asleep in the morning and legit walked right into a motherfucker. Good. Then he had the nerve to make all kinds of grumbles and give evil looks. Tough shit, I have the right of way – your ass should have waited on top.

Use your dumbass brains and wait for the bitch ass steps to clear – it would be faster for everyone. Nope, what do they do? They decide to walk down them anyway… Once you get those things single file, forget it – it’s like the GWB of humans. Yes, I get that this is New York and no one waits for shit, but your lousy ass would actually make it down faster if you waited for the crowd to disperse.

PS – Obviously, if people are walking out of the station, you just missed the train. So why rush your ass down into a piss smelling, rat infested hole? Yes, the trains come every 2 minutes, but you have plenty of time to grab some fresh air and get the next one. Christ on the cross.


Just Downloaded IE9, Woof


For the hell of it, I just downloaded IE9. Yes, it’s fast with the HTML5 canvas hardware acceleration, but what a fucking piece of shit as usual. I tried two webapps and they both didn’t work because they were built to work with WebKit and Gecko.

I don’t have any problems with Microsoft except for IE. Windows 7 is great and I am not a Mac fan. Windows has been solid since XP (well, Vista was iffy)

Morons should have just used WebKit as the rendering engine so we get some kind of standard. Would have been a lot less work. All they would have had to do was do the hardware acceleration or a custom javascript engine. But nope – they do things the hard way.

PS – I also got my Google Chrome 9 stabe update today. Seems in a year and a half, Google already beat Microsoft in version numbers. Ha. Oh and Chrome is pathetic with hardware acceleration though…

Well, That’s Why He’s Down the Tubes


A classic from the year 2003 that my HS assholes will remember:

And you thought I was down the tubes in high school. HA.

Fucker Stole My WordPress Theme


D-Rob you dog! First you ask me for help with WordPress then you jack the theme I’m using. What a dick.

Nah, just messin. iNove is GPL’d so I can’t say shit. Anyway, check out this little redheaded Jew’s entertainment blog: http://drobmedia.wordpress.com