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I Just Had a Revelation (Regarding Android)

I just had a revelation regarding Android. It’s really simple actually. Follow this advice and Android will be 100% better off in one year than it is now. If you don’t care about tech or don’t want to read tech, just read the bold part.

I don’t care how “open” Android is. Apple is kicking its ass because its UI is clean and straightforward AND there are no bloated apps preinstalled on iPhones. So there’s a simple, two part solution to this that I am proposing. Google needs to get their thumbs out of their asses, grow some balls and restrict the following:

• Carriers may NOT lock down bloatware apps per device. They can pre-install it, but the user should be able to remove it without rooting the phone.
• Device manufacturers may NOT install custom user interfaces (Samsung’s Touchwiz, Motorola’s MotoBlur and HTC’s Sense) by default. All phones should ship with Vanilla (Google’s default theme)

The problem is that all iOS devices look the same and thats why it’s so easy to use an iPhone. But if I pick up an HTC Android, Samsung Android or Motorola Android – they all look completely different. The menu buttons on the bottom are all in random orders. The user interfaces look different – some apps are displayed left to right, some are up and down, the icons on each one look completely different. What the hell is that all about? Google needs to partner up with carriers andmanufacturersand be like “fucking listen – do shit the way we say because otherwise Apple will urinate all over us.”

Another thing. Mother fuck Verizon and Sprint for pre-installing a bunch of bullshit apps that users cannot remove. That’s some pair of balls. I’m paying $400 for an advanced phone and $80/month for service and you put my shit on lockdown? I don’t need the fucking VCast app store because there’s the Android market (Apple only has one app store). I don’t need Verizon Backup Assistant on the grounds that I can already back up my contacts to Gmail because, um, maybe it’s fucking built right in to Android already?! This defeats the purpose of an “open” phone.

This is why I will personally root any Android phone I get just to give a big F you to these carriers for 1) locking things down to begin with and 2) overcharging.

You’ve heard me rant about skinning Android and how Verizon Android Phones Suck (and suck more). But this can all be resolved. I went to the Verizon store to use a Droid Charge. It was a really nice phone. Too bad Touchwiz is a wannabe iPhone ripoff (it does look decent I have to admit, but I’d rather use the native skin). HTC Sense looks like asshole. MotoBlur is eh and the icons look like garbage.

So Google – lock down your shit becauseAndroid’s#1 problem is fragmentation. Listen to me and that fragmentation will be reduced. You’re welcome Google. Please hire me.