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Is This Not The Stupidest Bitch In the History of the Internet?

SF Gate – Tara Fitzgerald of Sacramento needed help. The nude photos she had taken for her boyfriend were nowhere to be found on her computer, so she called Dell in December 2008. She was patched through to support tech Riyaz Shaikh, an employee of call service center in India, and gave him permission to search her PC remotely.

“I watched him take the pictures out of my e-mail. I watched him.”

More than a dozen of those pictures ended up on a site called “bitchtara.” Shaikh offered his “help” again, allegedly telling Fitzgerald he could work on taking down the site if she sent him a brand new Dell laptop. Fitzgerald agreed.

Wah wah wahaa! Stop complaining idiot girl. People like this deserve whatever bad happens to them as a result of their blatant stupidity. Let me get this straight… This ignorant bitch can’t find her nude photos, so she calls Dell? Does that make any sense? Let’s have random strangers looking for sensitive files. There’s a file search function in Windows you idiot. Use it.

Then she gets connected to this dude Riyaz who goes through her email and finds the pictures, then downloads them while she’s watching. Is that even allowed? Tech support shouldn’t be in your email, but if you’re too stupid to allow them to, it’s your fault.

If a guy in India can remotely find your files and you can’t, you’re a fucking idiot and should be banned from computers. Of course they’re going to end up on all of these shady websites.

So then you call the dude back and he says he’ll take them down if you send him a brand new laptop? And you actually send it?!?!? Are you serious?!?! You just gave this dude a new laptop and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t give two shits about taking down your photos. Do you not know anything about scams?

Step 1: Don’t allow random Indians to access your computer. Step 2: don’t have nude photos of yourself on there in the first place because you’re ugly and old as fuck.

So I have a very simple solution for you, Tara Fitzgerald. You live in San Francisco, right? The Golden Gate Bridge: jump off of it. Social darwinism: ignoramuses like yourself need to be killed off.

This is Why Kids are Stupid These Days

See this is why kids these days are so fucking stupid: they aren’t even learning the alphabet right thanks to these assinine signs. Remember those signs that were taped up around the classroom with the letters and a picture? A is for apple. B is for bee. C is for cat…. Yeah. Well, every time I see this shit in a classroom where I work, I rage:

D is for dog. Okay, that’s fine.

E is for… Ed? What the fuck is that? Why isn’t E for elephant or something simple? Why the fuck is it for Ed? Who says that dude is an Ed? Maybe he’s a Bob.

F is for… Two children playing, a ball and the sun

H is for hat

I is for Monkey. It took me a few seconds to realize that the monkey was scratching his balls and that I was for itch. Really? How do you draw an itch? ICE CREAM, you shitpiles!

J is for jug

U is for arrow (yes, I know it should be up, but be easier. What ever happened to umbrella?)

V is for car (van? really?)

W is for a cloud blowing shit. How about Watermelon?

X is for Fox? I don’t know about your language, but in English, fox doesn’t start with the letter X, asshole.

Y is for crayon. What about yarn?

Z is for zebra.

And my favorite? K is for Kodak with a picture of a camera (I don’t have the image). I don’t know about you, but I don’t call my camera a Kodak. Therefore, K is not for Kodak you shitfreak! Since when do we start using company names to teach kids the alphabet? K is for fuckin kangaroo or something like that.

For fucks sake, if I were the teacher, I wouldn’t hang this shit on my classroom walls? It’s straight up ignorant.