Kombucha Sounds Like A Pussy Ass Drink to Me

November 6, 2011

Useless Update

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Lifehacker -Kombuchahas grown in popularity over the past few years around the same time as kefir and probiotically-augmented yogurts. Like yogurt, kefir, and sourdough bread it requires a starter culture which is added to black or green sweetened tea. The result is a tart, fizzy drink (0.5% ABV) that tastes a little like apple cider and is touted by many for health benefits.

NO. THANKS.

This is a bitch ass drink for health freaks.I’m not going to waste time fermenting green tea with bacteria that is turns out to have like .5% alcohol by volume. How are you supposed to get hammered off that shit? I’d have to drink like 15 gallons, then I’d get sick because of a full stomach.

“But Joe, it has probiotics and good bacteria that is really good for your stomach and digestion.” F that noise. Want good bacteria? Eat yogurt.

Wanna know what works better? Take some green tea, then pour gin or vodka in it. Repeat like 8 times. Enjoy.

My Host Is a Piece of Shit

November 5, 2011

Website Related

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Every night from 1AM to 6AM, they do backups which completely destroy the server I’m using. I complain about it 5 times a week and they’re like “oh it ran out of memory” “oh it was the backup” “oh we made changes so it won’t happen again”

Bullshit. Every fucking night at 1AM, my website becomes useless.They’re lucky I’m too lazy to switch to another host right now. I really would like a RackSpace cloud 512MB or 1GB instance, but that shit costs too much.

Words With Friends Can Suck It So Hard…

November 4, 2011

Computer/ Tech Related, Rants

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I had enough of this game. It’s no longer fun on the grounds that Zynga uses a horse shit dictionary. I lose every single game because assholes use words like RHO and MI and JO and NA and ZO and FE. Bitches just add shit to like triple word scores and get like 87 points for the word ZO. And the minute I try to make up dumbass words, it won’t let me use it.

This was my actual game list. When I saw the moves, it enraged the shit out of me.

Google Needs to Get their UI Shit Together

November 3, 2011

Computer/ Tech Related, Rants

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Fuck man… Google is starting to screw the hell up… Anyone see the new Gmail redesign? Looks like shit and a half. It’s buggy too. I legit found crazy UI bugs. Not only are the colors bland as shit, but the buttons are ridiculous and it’s impossible to find anything. Whatever happened to the simple days where everything was blue and nice looking.

Not that I use iOS, but I heard the new Gmail app was a complete flop and they had to pull it because it sucked so bad. They released it half assed and buggy. WOW…

Same with Google Reader… It’s like the UI designer just wanted to remove all colors and shit. They’re basically taking these products and trying to make them look more like Google+ which no one uses anyway…

Get your shit together. Jesus…

The T-Mobile Girl Can Sext Me Any Day!

October 22, 2011

Useless Update

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These ads are everywhere.Anyway here’s her scoop