Year: 2013
Jennifer Lawrence Looks Like an Asshole with Short Hair
Bro. The fuck did you do to yourself? This is some self mutilation caliber shit. She looks more butch than Ellen DeGeneres. There is nothing worse than when smoking hot chicks shave their head and look like shit thereafter. This is a serious issue. Like… I no longer want to bang her serious.
Emma Watson pulled this shit in 2010. Don’t you people learn?
PS – I’d still do everything to her
The Fact that Some Local News Station Says that Connecticut has Great Pizza is Fucking Blasphemy
NEW HAVEN, CT (WFSB) -Connecticut is known for great pizza and now, a list shows that the nutmeg state has the number one pizza in the country.Pizzas from three restaurants in New Haven were named in TheDailymeal.com’s top 101 list. The site is devoted to news and trends about food and dining.Frank Pepe’s white clam pie was named the number one pizza in the country. Sally’s Apizza’s tomato pie was listed at number 7 and Modern Apizza’s Italian bomb pizza at 11.The sausage pie at Colony Pizza in Stamford was ranked number 27 and the Margherita pizza at Alforno in Old Saybrook was listed at number 68
I have a huge problem with thedailymeal.com and with this shitty ass local news station. The balls on them. Connecticut by far has the shittiest fucking pizza in the United States. Are you for real? I had Pepe’s in Fairfield. It’s decent compared with the rest of the other shitty places, there is no way that some New Haven place has the best pizza in the country. No way, I’d sign my life away on that. I mean come on. You have Chicago, Brooklyn, Long Guy Land. There is NO way in hell this is the best pizza.
What’s the Over/Under South Carolina Secedes from the Union Again?
Washington Times – The South Carolina state House passed a bill Wednesday that declares President Obama’s Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act to be null and void, and criminalizes its implementation.
The state’s Freedom of Health Care Protection Act intends to prohibit certain individuals from enforcing or attempting to enforce such unconstitutional laws; and to establish criminal penalties and civil liability for violating this article.
Oh my. I smell Civil War 2. South Carolina basically telling the federal government to go fuck themselves. Don’t like this federal law? Fuck that, we’ll just nullify this. Makes me laugh. It criminalizes its implementation? So who would get arrested and shit for trying to enforce it? Feds? Congressmen? Obama? Guess what: This whole state notion of “fuck what the federal government says” works up to the point where federal government starts cutting state funding unless they ratify their shit. This is why motherfuckers can’t drink until they’re 21. Technically, a state could be like “eat a dick feds, let’s make the age 18 again so people like portfolioso don’t turn into raging alcoholics in college.” But the government is all like “nah son, I won’t give you highway money.” And the states are all whores for money, so they comply.
I’ve been thinking lately: The United States is a stupid assed fucking country with idiotic politicians and more problems that can ever be solved. But like… I’m still free. It’s not like I live in some hut in Africa drinking bacteria water, need to cloak myself in the Middle East while dodging bombs from thousands of years of civil war, and I can still go on Facebook, unlike China. The only thing worse than those is probably Time Warner Cable. Internet in Zimbabwe is more reliable. But I digress.
So despite the United States being all fucked up, fighting idiotic wars, cancelling government, states straight up trying to nullify federal law (which is actually allowed in the Constitution)…. It’s just a comedy show. I shouldn’t get all pissed about it because there’s no fixing it. As long as I can do whatever the fuck I want without harming others, so be it. So what if the NSA is spying on my shit? I’m against the shit out of that and think it’s criminal, but I’m not doing anything wrong, so whatever. Let them waste their time watching me do stupid shit like complain about servers crashing on twitter and blogging (read : first amendment free speech) about whatever the fuck I want.
Enjoyyyyy
Moto X: No Jawbone Up Support? No Problem (Workaround)
When I got my Moto X, I was fully disappointed to learn that when I plugged my JawboneUPwristband into it, it would not even recognize the device. How could this be possible?It’s Motorola’s flagship new phone, which should be able to handle anything modern. Even my old Galaxy Nexus supported the Jawbone Up. So what is the deal?
First, let me explain how 3.5mm headsets work. For devices to transfer data through a headphone jack (Square reader, Jawbone Up, etc), they use line in support on a 3.5mm headphone jack and send analog waves to the phone. This makes sense as a microphone, but to send data, software must read this analog signal. To cut costs, some manufacturers just have 3.5mm output ports that do not support line in (for example, the first generation Nexus 7).To quote Wikipedia, “Three- or four-conductor (TRS or TRRS) 2.5mm and 3.5mm sockets are common oncell phones, providing mono (three conductor) or stereo (four conductor) sound and a microphone input, together with signaling (e.g., push a button to answer a call).”
According to Motorola, “At this time, devices that have a microphone input but no microphone output (Square Card Reader,JawboneUP) are not currently supported.” This was an oversight by Motorola and they should be ashamed of themselves, because it’s 100% a software problem. The device hardware fully supports line in devices. Want proof? Find an iPhone 5 friend with a pair of Apple EarPods and plug them into your Moto X. If you’re not familiar, Apple’s EarPodsalso function as a mic and can be used to make voice calls and increase or decrease the phone volume. When using these on the Moto X, the physical volume buttons on the EarPods don’t work as far as controlling the phone’s volume, but the center button does to pause any music that is playing. Additionally, if you place a call with the EarPodsplugged in it will work perfectly as a mic. So once I saw this, I figured there was absolutely no reason the JawboneUPshould not sync. SO I started playing around and found out:
To make the JawboneUPwork on a Moto X (Or any of the new Verizon Droids)
- Plug the band into an iPhone, or some other device that has proper line in support (if your laptop/computer has a 3.5mm jack that has a headset logo, it should work)
- The sun icon status light on your JawboneUPband should flash. If it does not flash, you cannot continue – find a device where the band flashes when you plug it in.
- On your Moto X, launch the JawboneUPapp
- Plug the Up into your Moto X (within 30 seconds of step 2)
- The sun icon status light on your JawboneUPband should flash
- You may get some warning about listening at high volume (ignore this) – the Moto X thinks you plugged in a headset.
- Click the sync button and it should work.
You’re welcome
#YeahJeets Has Gotta Be 100% True Since It’s On Barstool and Reddit
November 19, 2013
Sports
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Portfolioso
Few years back in college, a buddy of mine told me a story about Jeter getting a BJ from one of his friend’s friends and he was all like “Yeah Jeets.” Welp, it’s been an inside joke between us and we used to get hammered at the stadium and scream it at the top of our lungs when he was at bat. Either way, I couldn’t confirm this was true, but it was still funny. WELL……. Now that Barstool and Reddit broke the story, I’m sold. There’s a 100% chance this actually happened:
Barstool:http://www.barstoolsports.com/nyc/super-page/the-best-derek-jeter-gossip-youll-ever-hear-yeahjeets/
Reddit:http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1qs3yr/former_groupies_of_reddit_what_was_your/cdg0q3i