Year: 2010


Optimum Online Can Go F Itself


It’s a huge PIECE…. I don’t even have it, and it sucks balls. Sunday night, lots of people must be on and here’s an Optonline speedtest from KF-Dedicated (sorry John):

And here’s my internet (dedicated, not affected by people using it at once)

Fuckin enjoyyyyyyyyyyy!


Read this Shit on Your Phones, It’s Better Now (Also, faster)


Some half Asian girl bitched at me a few weeks ago that my mobile edition sucked on Blackberry. No one cares, Blackberries suck. We all know I’m all about the Droid (okay, iPhones are not for me, but they’re okay too). So I decided to change my mobile theme on this site. But not because she complained…

I’ve been investigating why this blog has been loading like absolute horse shit for the past few weeks and it turns out it was pretty much my plugins crapping out the server. After yelling at my host, they somehow hacked into my WordPress, disabled them all (how they got in is beyond me since I didn’t give them any authorization to, but that’s not the point). Now I’m not a moron – I disabled plugins before while troubleshooting these speed issues but couldn’t find anything wrong. Anyway, long story short, the mobile edition I was using was throwing crazy errors and making this crap run slowly. And dumbass .htaccess rules and a misconfigured caching plugin. I think I got it now (unlike my other few posts claiming to have improved the speed).

I’m also minifying all of my javascript and css (except for polls and ratings) with WP-Minify, so that should help a little bit too with the speed and cut back on the 45 server requests

So the blog should be faster, and also the mobile edition is pretty. Enjoyy.

And The Best Christmas CD Is…


The Carpenters – Christmas Portrait. 1) It’s been playing around the holidays since I was born and 2) it’s just classy and traditional. I have no further words. But I do have one question. Does listening to this make you gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that)?

Vote 1 for yes, if a man listens to the Carpenters, it’s completely balls touching balls gay or 10 if it’s fine

[ratings]

The Bombardier M7-A is a Piece of Shit


I swear, ride on these things and you’ll get seasick. Yes, seasick. From a train. Yeah they’re all new (well 4-5 years old), flashy and look cool unlike those other shitty 70s models with the fake stick on wood grain (seriously, wood grain? That’s another rant). I never felt anything rock back and forth so violently. How is it possible? It’s a level train on a level, solid iron track. What a topheavy piece of crap. Seriously, who builds these things anyway? They don’t take it for a little spin and say “hmm, too much rocking, let’s fix something.” Nah, they just want to shit them out as cheaply as possible so the MTA can raise my fares every 5 minutes. The old trains don’t have this problem, but these things are nuts. Half the time my coffee is sloshing all over the bro next to me. The thing is like the Sea Dragon over at Playland. I’m trying to read my book or phone screen and everything’s just shaking. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

Not to mention, I almost died this morning walking between cars 1) because these things have like 200 fewer seats than the old ones, forcing me to walk between cars and 2) it decided to sway from side to side right as I walked between cars in which there was no protect. Welp, that would have been it folks.

That’s right – part two of my 100 part series on bad engineering.


The Random Quote is Back


So when I upgraded my WordPress theme a while ago, I forgot that I broke the random quote generator on the top of this blog. It’s fixed now. PS – it doensn’t work on the mobile edition.