Portfolioso.com Blog

Stop Asking Me About Work When I Get Home

When I get home from work, I’m fucking exhausted and over it. I don’t need the people who are home with me asking me details about my day because I don’t fucking want to answer them or talk about work. The only time I will talk about work is if you ask me if I want to have a threesome with Elise and Malori, and in that case the answer is yes. Other than that, I’m home now and don’t want to talk about work. The following questions are bullshit and irrelevant to you. The shit ismonotonous, so let me answer them once and for all

• Was it busy today?
  • Yes it was fucking busy you idiot. I do everything for those fuckers. I eat, sleep and dream work. I’m on call 24/7. I am the grandarchitectof next generation infrastructure. God forbid some shit breaks, my life is basically over until that shit is stable again.
• Who was off today?
  • Who gives a fuck. Do you know them?
• What’s going on tomorrow?
  • Who gives a fuck.
• Did you have any meetings?
  • Yes. Why wouldn’t I have fucking meetings.
• Will you be late tomorrow?
  • Yes. The Subways run like fucking shit.

For real. Go talk about something else.

If You Sue a School Because Your Son Was so Filthy, they Scrubbed Him Down, You Deserve to Lose Custody Your Kids

MSNBC – A school nurse and counselor forced an 8-year-old Texas boy to bathe after telling him he “smelled badly, was dirty and had bad hygiene,” according to a lawsuit filed Thursday.

Judgment in favor of the teacher and the nurse! Now someone send in child protective services and take this fucking kid away from these unfit parents. The teacher and nurse did no wrong here. There’s a whole classroom full of innocent, clean kids and it’sdespicable for one lousy bastard to stink up the whole room.

These parents should be fucking ashamed of themselves. Don’t you smell your filthy assed kid? Fucking teach him to clean himself. No one wants to smell that shit. Not you, not the class, not the teachers. You’re essentially sentencing your son to ridicule and unpopularity. Why would you ever do that?

It’s like this greaseball Federico I went to middle school with. Father was rich as fuck and probably couldn’t give two shits about his son. Kid was a filthy fucking freak of nature that had no people skills at all. This fucking guy got sent to the nurse in 7th grade because he smelled like a fucking blooming onion. I remember one time I got detention because this guy was in my Home/Career Skills bullshit class and we were baking pound cake and this filthy motherfucker sneezed in the batter. I was like “ah fuck, I’m not eating this shit now” and got detention because the teacher heard me. But fuck that. I’ll take a weeks detention before I eat a sneezed up germ-ridden piece of cake sneezed on by some untouchable.

1) This is why I can never be a school teacher. My cousins and Danny and all these people get enjoyment from teaching snot-nosed, virus infested, whiny, smelly little shits all day. Not me, sir! 2) This is why I’m never having children. And if I do, they won’t smell like shit. Because my son needs to lay pipe like a motherfucker to make up for my tame assed lifestyle. And you don’t do that if you smell like shit.