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Ian Kennedy Sucks; Yankees Doomed

A few days ago, I get a call from someone at home asking me to chill Friday night. At first I didn’t want to, being that the Yankees were heading out west to take on the best team in baseball. But, it started at 10PM EST and I figured that. Meanwhile, we get sidetracked in Jersey, visiting some friends while we’re in the area. Well, good thing I didn’t rush home for the game, because I almost puked all over our waitress when I glimpsed at a TV in the 8th inning. (At least there was something decent there to look at besides the game.)

I have lost all respect for Ian Kennedy (0-4 8.97 ERA) following what he said after his abysmal pitching performance (yet again)… Let’s analyze:

“It’s the first bad outing I’ve had since the All-Star break, so I’m not going to look too much into it. I felt like I made some good pitches. I’m not too upset about it. What was it, a bunch of singles and three doubles? I’m just not real upset about it. I’m just going to move on and I’ve already done that.”

• First bad outing since the All-Star break? More like first outing since the All Star break, idiot (minor leagues don’t count here, sorry).
• You made no good pitches, shut up.
• Not going to look too much into it? Well that means you won’t be correcting your problems. Leave.
• You give up 5 runs in less than 2 innings, you’re not upset about it? What’s worse is that you are consistently a terrible player. You think that after so many terrible starts, you’d be disgusted already. We don’t take kindly to players who aren’t passionate to win. I am willing to bet that any starting pitcher on the 1998 Yankees would have been upset with themselves giving up 2-3 runs in a game and losing.
• “I’m just going to move on and I’ve already done that.” No you haven’t. You pitched like crap your entire career and you are exactly the same. Just because you’re good in the minors doesn’t mean you will be any good in the big leagues.
• Just a bunch of singles and three doubles? Doesn’t sound good to me. Maybe, just maybe, it would be okay if spread out over 8 innings with 2-3 runs… But lasting 2 innings and giving that up is nothing to belittle.
• Go ahead and move on…. To a different team. (I heard the Mets need and/or already have people like you in their bullpen.)
• Dan Giese and Darryl Rasner aren’t spectacular, but they really have a work ethic and show they care, in times when the Yankees are in dire need of starters. Often times it’s been rewarding. I am a fan of Giese, one of his outings was great and he got little run support.
• 5 runs should be enough to win a game. Weaver wasn’t too sharp.

One last comment on Kennedy: Go work in Wendy’s or something. You stupid fucking idiot, you gave up more hits than recorded outs, what are you smoking to think you didn’t pitch badly. But he’s a young kid, and everyone wants to give him 32 more losses, I mean chances. Here’s the Portfolioso.com solution to the Ian Kennedy problem: DESIGNATED FOR ASSIGNMENT. Harsh, yes. Potential loss of someone who will be good at some point? (cough 5+ years), yes. Why not send him back to the minors? Because after saying what you just said, I don’t want you on my team if you don’t care. Even Sidney Ponson (who had some great starts and helped our pitching fiasco) but generally isn’t seen as reliable, gets annoyed when he gives up runs. You can see him smacking his head after giving up a home run, which was only 1 of 3 earned runs and he got the win. That’s called effort, realizing you made a mistake, and keeping your head in the game to improve. Not “Oh yeah I’m not concerned. It’s cool guys. I have a blunt over here.”

The battered, tender and injury-prone Yankees are done. Better luck next season. This is something I have been saying since April, and everyone gave me shit for it, but I saw this coming. The Yankees usually start slowly and come to life After the All Star Break (no one expected it last year either, but it happened – and people relied on this to happen this year.) Well bad news folks, ain’t happening. Yast year, the Yanks were well on the road to recovery. This year, they start pitchers who don’t seen to care about the game. The post All Star Break jokeshow hotstreak of theirs was good while it lasted – or let me rephrase that – as they played crappy teams below .500. As expected, the Yankees fell back towards their usual ways. And it won’t be resolved until people like Kennedy are… Dealt with.

Hitting issues: Can someone seriously give me a dollar for every time a Yankee hits into a double play, and 50 cents when an out is made with runners in scoring position? This would nicely defray the cost of my college textbook bill. A-Rod is good, but not when the Yankees really need him. All Jeter does is make Ford commercials. Abreu’s hot. Nady started slow since coming here, but has been hot lately. Melky… Melky should have been gone months ago and in a deal for someone good. Since acquiring Nady, Girardi had Melky out of the lineup for 4 straight games. First, Girardi claimed to be resting him, but we later found out he needed to make “adjustments” since Nady came along. Sure, it doesn’t help when you’re hitting .220 and your on base percentage is less than .300. Suddenly, right bench is looking more useful for the team.

Second problem: Injuries. The Yankee organization downright lies about everyone’s injuries. There is way too much optimism. No one likes to hear the news that the Yankees just lost 8 of their last 13 games, so lets downplay the injury report. Everyone who ended up on the 15 day disabled list is out for months. I am scared for Joba, because the reports are that rotator cuff tendonitis will only sidetrack him a few weeks. Well let me kindly remind you that Jorge Posada was diagnosed with the same exact thing, which eventually led to season ending shoulder surgery (after he was stubborn, played on a bad shoulder, and couldn’t through out my grandpa if he tried to steal second). Joba is gone for the year. Wang is gone for the year. Posada is gone for the year. We go and get Pudge, and he needs to miss a few games because he got run over. Jeeeeeeeeeez.

I will stick by this team no matter what happens – it’s the job of real fans (yeah, we hate the bandwagon jumpers who only care when the Yankees actually win). Hopefully, this blog post will be dead wrong and we can make a wild card run, but they cannot be using assholes like Ian Kennedy to do that. The AL East is too strong for us this year. Let me conclude with two things to ponder. “Better luck next season” and “Who is jinxing the team that everyone’s getting hurt?”