Author: Portfolioso
100% Uptime In April, Bitches
This is what happens when I bitch at my host 98 times per day. I’m powerful. I get shit done:
Someone Install This Urinal At the Seagrape!
Holy shit! This thing is heat sensitive and changes colors as you piss on it. That’s amazing! Someone needs to install this at the Grape pronto! That trough is literally the worst pissing experience ever (and that includes the time my kidneys almost exploded at Preakness last year).
Just imagine how cool that would be, going to the Grape and seeing that. Classy.
The Japanese Would Invent This Useless Device
Mashable -The Kajimoto Laboratory at the University of Electro-Communications has created a device which consists of a hardware receptacle which is placed into the mouth, and software that remembers the movements of your tongue and sends them to the other connected device, which moves accordingly.
Kiss transfer device? What. The. Fuck. What a waste of perfect brain power. You have these brilliant ass programmers and they inventing this useless nonsense that is of no purpose. How about you invent something that’s actually useful bros. Their defense? “If you have a popular entertainer use this device and record it, that could be hugely popular if you offer it to fans” Um no. It’s just a plastic piece wiggling around.How about you get your heads out of the lab and go find a real human to kiss.
We all know the Japanese invent a bunch of sick kinky shit. I guarantee you this was invented to be used for something other than kissing.
Signal Mouthwash Tastes Like Antifreeze
…and I never even tried antifreeze. Seriously, this stuff is fucking poisonous. I rinsed my mouth with this crap one time and winced. The aftertaste was even worse. Absolute rubbish
I’m Boycotting Words With Friends
May 4, 2011
Rants
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Portfolioso
Take a look at my board. See, this is why I can’t win at this game. WAT? ET? How are those words? Ok, Wat means temple in Thai. What’s ET? Et cetera is Latin, but you can’t use it by itself.
So this fucking guy got 12 points on two bullshit words. Thanks assholes.