Author: Portfolioso

Welp, Looks Like I’m Gonna Drop Dead at 50 of a Heart Attack

April 25, 2011

Useless Update

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Mashable -If you’re reading this, chances are you’re sitting down, which means you’re probably digging yourself an early grave.

At least, that’s the gist of a few articles that have made the rounds recently. A particularly popular article in Men’s Health cited a study in the journal Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise that will make any desk jockey wince. Examining the lifestyles of more than 17,000 men and women over 13 years, the report found those who sit for most of the day were 54% more likely to die of heart attacks. According to Men’s Health, that statistic was true even if the people in the study were nonsmokers and regular exercisers.

Well that fucking sucks. I’m a nonsmoker and I don’t exercise. So does that make it worse? (OK, I walk a little bit – but that doesn’t count).

All I do is sit at my desk all day. Not sure if this is legit or just one big ad for these dumbass stand up desks. Seriously – I’d kill myself if I had to stand all day. I hate standing in place. I need to be moving. I guess the benefits of my summer job was that I walked around all day hauling shit around schools and setting up computers. Welp, that’s over. Now I just sit my fat ass in a chair and remote desktop everything and play with things in the cloud.

Besides the fact that I sit on my ass all day, I also havesidewalk rage, which also takes years off your life. Fuck it. For all I know a piano can fall on me tomorrow or something. Ya never know. Welp, time to live it up now I guess…

Its Good Friday. Which Means…

April 22, 2011

Rants

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..that the cocksucking MTA decided to have four 6 trains running on the whole entire line. That’s right. It’s a regular work day assholes. There is no excuse. Unless the drivers are are nailed to crosses being crucified, they should be driving my fucking trains so I can go home faster. I could have carried a cross while being whipped by Roman soldiers to Grand Central faster than waiting for thatpiss smelling train.I have this down to a science. I know the trains come every 3-4 minutes and the absolute last one I can take is at 7:15 to make my other train home. I have it calculated perfectly. If it shows up at 7:16, I’m fucked. So I got there at 7:05 and was like.. I’m golden. NOPE. Fucking 6 train showed up 20 minutes later.

Oh and what’s this bullshit there’s a 7:27 express and a 7:30 local, then an 8:00? Want to fucking like… spread them out a little more? Like maybe if that 7:30 was actually a 7:40 I would have been good.

PS – What’s the over/under I’m going to hell because of this post?

Building Management Just Laughing in Earth Day’s Face Today

April 22, 2011

Rants

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See, this is why we have a friggin energy crisis. It’s motherless 83 degrees up in this bitch right now because our building management decided it’s brilliant to run heat when it’s like 60 degrees outside. SO unnecessary. So we have the heat blasting which we have no control over shutting off.

So to recap, we have heat running for no reason, windows open to let the heat out, and the AC running because it kicks in automatically when it’s too hot. Nice.

Happy Earth Day!

Bat Out Of Hell Not Fast Enough To Describe How Quickly I Bolted The Train Earlier

April 22, 2011

Rants

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Fucking nasty. I walked onto the 6 this morning and walked into a fucking sewer. It honestly smelled like 40 people pissed all over the train. You know that smell, when like homeless ass piss dries out and starts reeking worse than anything else? Yeah that. 90% of public bathrooms I’ve been in smelled better. Needed a fucking gas mask in that shithole.

You know how people go skydiving if their cord gets stuck, when the body is recovered they are found with their skin and clothes clawed because of the desperation trying to get the parachute cord to open? That was me. Straight up clawing the door at my stop hoping it would open quicker, even though it did nothing. And of course the moron train operator/driver/engineer decided to scratch his balls at my stop, so I was sitting in there at the station trapped on the train for an additional 45 seconds.

Finally got out and made a mad bolt right for the stairs through the emergency exit door. Set that alarm right off, I don’t give a shit. This was a dire emergency. Quickest subway exit ever.

EW – speaking of fucking nasty, I had coffee in my mug for like a week and now it’s curdled and crusty. This blog is just a big pile of nasty ass shit.

HAHA Your Shitty iPhone is Spying On Your Ass

April 21, 2011

Computer/ Tech Related

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Mashable – Two security researchers have discovered that Apple’s iPhone keeps track of a user’s location and saves that information to a file that is stored both on the device and on a user’s computer when they sync or back it up in iTunes.

The researchers, Pete Warden and Alasdair Allan, discovered the hidden file while collaborating on a potential data visualization project. At first we weren’t sure how much data was there, but after we dug further and visualized the extracted data, it became clear that there was a scary amount of detail on our movements, Warden told The Guardian.

Fucking Apple. Everyone loves them and trusts them so much and here they are spying on everywhere you’ve been – just throwing your location into a file that’s up for grabs. They just released some legal mumbo jumbo doc because some joke senators said they’d investigate. It was like 40 pages of privacy policy that no one wants to read.

Lousy bastards.

PS – This jerkoff Apple Fanboy Will Clarke wrote an article about how Apple is not tracking you. It ends with this: “Who cares? This still means there is a log of where I’ve been!Yes, it does. Like I said originally, I’m not saying there aren’t privacy concerns here.”

Guy fucking contradicted himself. What a joke. Typical fanboy. If Apple murdered millions of <insert race here>, fanboys would still defend them.