Category: Rants


CUNCEL DA ELECTION


Welp, it’s pretty much a 99% chance that it’ll be the two morons Romney (who’s trying to run for president of Amercia) and Obama facing off in November… So cuncel da election. It’s HOPELESS.

The upside down flag doesn't mean anti-government, you fuck ups... It means a nation in distress. Which seems about where we're headed

PS – if you have no idea what cuncel means,read on, my friends

PPS – There’s no way Obama can lose this. Guaranteed. I’d bet anything on it.

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Fuck Verizon Wireless For Not Updating My Galaxy Nexus


This is a bunch of bullshit. Verizon has some pair of balls being so slow to update the buggy assed software on their phones. It’s like… They sell you the phone and then they immediately stop giving a fuck. The fucking thing wasn’t updated since December. Sprint launched the phone much later and even they have the 4.0.4 update. Don’t they understand this phone is a glorified buggy piece of shit? Half the fuckin time, I can’t even switch smoothly between 3G and 4G because the radio has a hard time accurately reporting, finding and switching between different signals. The keyboard lags when typing. The volume is low. It’s all fucked up.

Google Maps released version 6.7 which completely fucked up GPS Navigation on Android 4.0.2 only. It used to speak the street name and exit numbers during driving nav. Now it’s just like “In two miles, turn left” “Take exit right” How the hell should I know when two miles is. Motherfucker, I’m driving – I don’t want to look at my GPS screen to see what road I should turn left on. It should just tell me to “turn left on Ballsack road” or some shit. If Verizon would have updated to 4.0.4 (which is out by the way, they just won’t push it), I wouldn’t have this issue.

I should have rooted this motherfucker from day 1. Then I would be able to install my own updates on it and I wouldnt’ have to wait for Verizon to take MONTHS and MONTHS to do this. If I want to root now, I will have to wipe my entire phone, which is a pain in my balls. But I should root so I can install DroidWall and block ads and shit, and be able to tether.

So motherfucking Google: Fix your shit. Motherfucking Verizon: release the update.

Shitheads.

</rant>


More Flawless Logic (Verified by D-Porpz)


See… I have some more flawless logic and a few (full of shit) people disagreed with me. So I checked in with my main man Dan and he agreed. So I’m obviously right. The Porpz is never wrong. Flawless logic to the max. Wooooooo!

 

Little bit unclear above. So you try to hook up with girl 1. Girl 2 pulls us apart. Try to hook up with girl 2. Shes like. Ew go away. This is bullshit. She clearly wants it right?

The answer to this is to bang them both, preferably a threesome. But that may or may not be practical… So… The girl who pulled this stunt on me is clearly delusional. Seriously… Unless you’re trying to get me all for yourself, why would you bother ripping me off someone else. Mind your mother fuckin business, cockblock. She’s clearly delusional and needs a dose of portfolioso D to straighten her out.

Why Would Anyone EVER Waste Money Studying Water on Cereal?


Gizmodo – Researchers from Pontificia University Católica in Santiago, Chile, have determined with cold hard science that milk is definitively superior to water, as far as cereal liquids go.

The argument against water: “The plasticizing effect of water … softened the carbohydrate/protein matrix, inducing partial collapse of the porous structure and eventually disintegration of the whole piece through deep cracks.” Or, more simply, it will turn your Corn Flakes to mush, fast.Better to stick with milk, the fat and other solids in which”become deposited on the flakes’ surface hindering liquid infiltration.”Well, at least it’s nice to know there’s a reason for us to be doing what most of us are already doing.

 

Jesus Christ, Chile… Don’t you have anything better to do than to waste money studying why youshouldn’tput water in cereal? You fucking idiots.

Who in their right mind puts water in cereal? You have to be some kind of moron. It’s common sense. You either eat it dry or put milk in it. No shit water makes cereal soggy and gross – it’s the universal solvent.

I don’t need any study about plasticizing effects of water and protein/carb matrices and how thestructurescollapseand all that scientific bullshit. How much did this cost?

How about this. Instead of wasting thousands of dollars on scientists’ salaries, lab equipment and supplies, go cure diabetes or some shit. Or better yet, throw rager with hundreds of drunk Chilean sluts and invite me as VIP.