Category: Rants

26% of These Poll Respondents Should be Shot Dead

April 6, 2010

Computer/ Tech Related, Rants

No Comments

Source: techcrunch.com

This is part 2 of my 117 part series on why the iPad sucks. Everyone else blogs about it nonstop, so I need to join the club.

So I was browsing through my RSS feeds and came across this article on TechCrunch, which made me spit out my coffee and rage.

Apparently, 26% of the people they polled are happy about the iPad because it “may replace the iPhone.”

Are you people FUCKING STUPID? The iPad lacks the ability to make phone calls/ is not registered on a cell carrier, so explain to me how it’s going to replace a phone? And do you you know how ridiculous you’d look talking into a giant tablet pressed to your head?

If this stupidity keeps up, I am going to quit the internet and move to a cabin in Alaska. Apple really knows how to make the tech industry regress. People think this shitpad is so revolutionary, but it really is not. It’s bringing us backwards.

Edit: So I scrolled down the post and there was another graph about what people didn’t like about the iPhone. 26% of them said that it “won’t replace my iPhone” Make up your minds, ignoramuses. I scrolled further, and 87% said they’d buy it anyway

……………………………………..________
………………………………,.-‘……………….“~.,
………………………..,.-……………………………..-.,
…………………….,/………………………………………..:,
…………………,?………………………………………………\\,
………………./…………………………………………………..,}
……………../………………………………………………,:`^`..}
……………/……………………………………………,:………/
…………..?…..__…………………………………..:`………../
…………./__.(…..~-,_…………………………,:`………./
………../(_….~,_……..~,_………………..,:`…….._/
……….{.._$;_……=,_…….-,_…….,.-~-,},.~;/….}
………..((…..*~_…….=-._……;,,./`…./…………../
…,,,___.\\`~,……~.,………………..`…..}…………../
…………(….`=-,,…….`……………………(……;_,,-
…………/.`~,……`-………………………….\\……/\\
………….\\`~.*-,……………………………….|,./…..\\,__
,,_……….}.>-._\\……………………………..|…………..`=~-,
…..`=~-,_\\_……`\\,……………………………\\
……………….`=~-,,.\\,………………………….\\
…………………………..`:,,………………………`\\…………..__
……………………………….`=-,……………….,%`>–==“
…………………………………._\\……….._,-%…….`\\
……………………………..,<`.._|_,-&“…………….`\\

OMG iPad

April 3, 2010

Computer/ Tech Related, Rants

No Comments

Shut the fuck up about the fucking iPad. It’s a piece of shit. I can’t go anywhere on the internet without it being shoved down my throat. I went to my Google Reader and 98/103 items are about this stupid shit. Images, videos, people stampeding one another, morons camping out for days in lines, app reviews, accessories. I don’t care. Shut up. It’s all nonsense. All for a stupid tablet that can only do one thing at a time. All these websites and companies are going nuts developing apps for this stupidity.

It’s all a novelty. I can get a netbook for the same price with more space, a real keyboard, Windows 7, a camera. But no. Computer applications are not as good as iPad apps. OMG APPS. They’re good for mobile devices, but it’s absurd that developers need to waste their time making apps specifically for the iPad. Unfortunately, they have to, because if they don’t they’ll be behind the times.

Waste of money

And why would you ever spend more money on a 3G version. There goes an extra monthly fee? Newsflash – 3G isn’t that good. It’s slow, it’s choppy, it cuts out all the time. Shut up. All it’s doing is costing people money -WSJ and NY Times all charging ridiculous monthly fees for content. It’s actually a clever scam. Really clever.

Apple has created a cult following. The iPad isn’t even that great, but everyone is now obsessed with anything Apple releases. It’s brilliant how the company built up their brand image.

To quote Colbert: “just like the iPhone, you can’t make calls with it”

Soda Tax?

March 14, 2010

Rants

No Comments

No, tell Albany to worry about more important things

You know what pisses me off? Useless taxes. The Alliance for Healthier New York needs to stop wasting taxpayer money on their moronic ad campaign that is lobbying Albany to pass a fat tax.

If I want to ruin my health and eat and drink things that are bad for me all the time, that is my problem. I am fully aware that soda ruins my health. Why should I be forced to pay a penny per ounce tax because some stupid organization is trying to make people healthier? If people can’t keep themselves healthy, that is their problem.

Newsflash: Raising taxes will not prevent all these porkers from drinking their soda. It’s just an inconvenience. This idiot organization thinks that it will cause a 10% decrease in soda consumption? Absolutely not. Don’t these people understand that all of these extra taxes actually ruin the economy more?

By the way, happy Pi day! Go stuff your face with fattening pies you unhealthy fool.

Edit: Okay, so according to an article in the New York Times, an increase in soda price makes people healthier. Give me a break… It’s your decision just stop taxing me

Broadband.gov? Seriously?

March 13, 2010

Computer/ Tech Related, Rants

No Comments

Has America gotten that low? For the past year and a half, this dude Obama has been making whateverthehellhewants.gov websites. Since he took office, I’ve never seen so many bullshit.gov websites: change.gov, export.gov, recovery.gov, bitchasstrick.gov, ready.gov, healthreform.gov, federalreserve.gov (they’ve got some nerve – the federal reserve is a bullshit institution and might as well be a private company -should be federalreserve.com), onguardonline.gov (the hell is that?), flu.gov (the US government controls the flu virus now and needs an official website?), nutrition.gov, werebackruptasshit.gov, chinaownsourballs.gov, census.gov, usajobs.gov, mymother.gov, students.gov, regulations.gov etc etc etc. Seriously? Want to give me a job admining these sites for like $200,000 a year? Yeah you do.

So I came across broadband.gov which spells out the nation’s plan for getting high speed internet to everyone in the country. Ain’t happening.

The story is, the majority of this country consists of a bunch of hick assed corn farmers. Half of this country (*cough, the backwards ass south, cough*) have two wires going to the houses: a power line and a copper phone line, which hasn’t changed since . We are beyond bankrupt and absolutely have no means to install fiber backbones and all that crap to these cotton towns.

So I go on broadband.gov and they offer a speed test. Apparently, you need you enter your address in order to do so. What the hell is this? Nazi rule? Why do they want my address in order to do a speed test. Yes, yes I know… They’re trying to see where the internet is good and where it sucks… Yatta Yatta. But that’s nonsense – I’m not giving my address away to do a simple speed test.

F these government sites. Want to check your speed? Go to speedtest.net. Capitalism at its finest. What a waste of taxpayer money, creating a service that already exists for free.

Hey James, Nice Neck Fat

March 7, 2010

Movies/Television, Rants

No Comments

Does this look like the face of a man who refuses to allow a BROADCAST network on his cable system?

Why don’t you go use the 200 million that Cablevision is saving by not negotiating an agreement with WABC 7 and go get some liposuction. Thank goodness I have FiOS. I could actually care less about WABC 7 – there’s nothing on there that I watch. It’s just the principle. 1) TV is way too expensive. 2) Dolan is a greedy bastard and 3)People need to start using the internet to watch shows, because this is out of control. If this keeps up, every channel will be a-la-carte. Any network can threaten a cable operator for more money and if no deal is reached, pull their channel. Just to clarify – ABC actually pulled the channel. Yes they’re asking for more money, and usually, the costs are passed to the person. I kind of see Dolan’s point trying to keep prices low, but you can’t go screwing your customers out of channels – especially when your company makes BANK. 200 million is nothing when your profits are over $8 billion.

P.S – I still don’t forgive you for making me miss the 2002 Yankee season, asshat.