Author: Portfolioso
A Portfolioso.com Lesson on Stealing Peoples Girlfriends
Here’s some flawless logic on a touchy subject and if you don’t agree with this, you are false. So you hook up with or steal someone’s girlfriend… Society’s reaction: what a dirtbag. Well that just depends. Not all the time. There’s a right way to cause someone to cheat with you and a wrong way.
The wrong way… If you respect the girl’s boyfriend, then you absolutely, by no means should even go anywhere near her. End of story. You shouldn’t even think of her in that way. If you do, you are an awful human and terrible friend. Gotta respect your bros. Even if the guy isn’t really a good friend, if he’s a good man and didn’t do anything wrong to you, stay away. Karma’s a bitch. If it’s your friend’s ex… Might want to stay away also. That’s just a little tricky.
The correct way… Her boyfriend is a total toolshed, dick, asshole or you don’t give two shits about him. This is perfectly fine. He’s an asshole and you are better for her. By all means, you have the green light to go in and do your thing. If she’s throwing herself at you, even better because you know she’s all for it too. If the girl actually cared about her boyfriend, she wouldn’t go around cheating. Plus, she started it, so it’s all good. Well even if she didn’t start it, if she’s game, then you are fine.
You can even reverse this logic. If a guy is whipped to shit and his girlfriend is a complete bitch, ladies go handle that
Bulletproof logic. Prove me wrong, beeshes.
PS – Left out the part about jacked dudes. If you’re gonna get your ass killed by some steroids bro, it’s probably not worth it either.
Three Little Birds
Today’s subway ride back to Grand Central was probably the best time I had on the Subway in 20 years. So I’m on the 6 train and these two rasta bros walk in with two bongo drums and a guitar and two folding chairs, so I’m like Christ, here we go again with this crap, leave me alone. The just roll in, set up shop, sit down and start jamming. Only like 3 people give them any satisfaction and they keep trash taking everyone on the train “come on mon, no love here?” Anyway, they start doing Three Little Birds and were actually really good and I’ve seen many shit subway performances before. I will take these reggae bros over these whiny bastards any day. I had to be a moron not to pop out the cell phone camera and record them. So they start throwing out little plastic maracas trying to get everyone involved. They throw one at this woman with a baby and the baby grabs it and starts rattling to the beat of the song. We all know how little patience I have for babies at this point because all they do is shit and cry, but it was pretty friggin’ adorable. Reminded me of something straight out of Disneyworld.
Needless to say, it was the world’s shortest subway ride in history. I’m pretty sure I got from 28th St to Grand Central in like 2 minutes, probably would have missed the station if I got just a little more into it. I just couldn’t stop smiling for five minutes after that – anyone walking by me must have thought I was some weirdo.
PS – Took the Q train for the first time today. So much for me assuming the 4, 5 and 6 lines the best . This Q train was like brand new, had all digital LED signs on board and was whisper quiet. Even the station didn’t smell like piss. Besides the fact that the West side sucks balls, I was impressed.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LanCLS_hIo4
Another Reason Cats are Dumb
SF Gate – Investigators believe a cat who liked to sleep on top of a toaster oven started a kitchen fire in Port Townsend by depressing the toaster lever. Lois Lund told The Peninsula Daily News she doesn’t hold a grudge against her cat Osiris. Lund said he had been sleeping on top of the oven to avoid a pet dog and probably stepped on the lever
Stupid fucking cats, setting themselves on fire and shit. Seriously, who sleeps on a toaster? And it was trying to escape from the dog? You dumbass cat! What’s worse- burning to death in a fire or a little teasing from a dog? Yup, the cat chose the flames.
Dogs would never set shit on fire.
People on the Train Piss Me Off
November 16, 2010
Rants
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Portfolioso
Pet peeves about fuckin annoying people on the trains:
I’m sure there’s a lot more, but that’s most of them.